Ep. 88 - The Great Haim Fart Conspiracy - 09/29/2025
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S1 E88

Ep. 88 - The Great Haim Fart Conspiracy - 09/29/2025

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[upbeat music] The Noon Hour of Madness and Mayhem, the podcast.

Victor, what is going on with our schools?

Our ... W- what part of them? [laughs]

Well, uh, every part of them.

Because [laughs] it's like, there's been a lot of problems recently.

You got, you got bus drivers saying, "I will cook you all." [laughs] And then-

Yeah

... making the, uh, the bus into a sauna.

Mm-hmm.

Talked about that story.

That wasn't very nice.

[laughs] I talked about ... I didn't talk about this. I saved this for this Noon Hour here, because I was pre-recording Peaches Pit Party.

Yeah.

And I saw [laughs] this article pop up. It's funny to me right now, because I can only imagine the shock on peoples' faces. But if I were to see it, I would also be scarred. "Teacher apologizes after feeding ailing kitten to a classroom snake." [laughs]

Ah, dude. Something like that happened in, I wanna say Blackfoot. Ah, what, what? Where was it? Some- somebody fed like a puppy to a, like a turtle or something.

In Blackfoot?

Hold on. Let me ... Let me pull that one up here. Uh, Peaches-

Uh, Blackfoot puppy-

Blackfoot puppy snake?

... eaten. He just ... No, that's a different story.

Was it Idaho Falls?

Found puppy ... I'm, I'm ... Oh wait, yeah.

I swear it was a turtle.

This is from 2019, "Idaho group blasts acquittal of teacher in puppy fed to turtle case in Blackfoot."

Oh, it was in ... Ye- okay.

It says, "The Preston Junior High School teacher first tried to feed the living puppy to a large snake before feeding it to a snapping turtle which killed it."

Yeah. Um, that would, I would think, traumatize a lot of, uh, students. I know that I would not wanna see that, personally.

Uh, me neither. Nobody would.

School makes you do a lot of weird things. Like, did you have to dissect animals in school?

I had to dissect first owl pellets, they're poo.

Okay, that's-

I, I had to dissect a frog.

Yeah, I had to do a frog.

Kinda the, the, the, the stomach open, look at the different organs. Then there was, uh, cow hearts.

Cow hearts?

And those were huge, like they're the size of hams.

Yeah.

Um-

Holy crap.

I think there was also some other small creatures that we had to do. I mean, there was ... There wasn't a pig. I, for some reason I'm thinking of pi- like a ... No.

Oh my goodness.

M- m- but yeah, there was a lot of stuff. I mean, the, my parents were personally grossed out by the whole cow heart thing.

Oh, yeah.

Especially when we all took pictures holding the cow heart, smiling.

[laughs]

And one of my classmates was pretending to eat it-

[laughs]

... like it was some sort of like brisket. And my mom nearly threw up at that open house.

Yeah, dude, why do they make students do that? Like, I could understand if you were in college and you're going into the medical profession, like you're gonna be a surgeon. But why? Why do they make like high school kids do that?

Uh, was it ... Was this one high school? I was trying to think of ... Or what grade this could've been. I mean-

Was this the snake?

This is the, uh, feeding ailing kitten to a snake.

I mean, the other one was a junior high school. Those are little kids.

It was the ... Oh yeah, so it was an advanced animal science teacher at Alvord High School fed an ailing kitten to a snake before the start of the school day and outside the presence of students.

Oh, so the students didn't watch it.

I n- yeah, but still, like you see a part of a kitten in a cage, right?

Oh, dude, that's ... Ahh.

It really is disgusting. It's gross.

I don't like that.

Yeah, e- every- everyone loves a cute kitten. I mean, w- w-

Yeah, the guy in Blackfoot did it in front of the students.

Th- that's even worse. Yeah. Yeah.

That's horrible.

And it's a puppy.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, puppies, kittens.

Yeah.

I mean, even ... [sighs] I don't know.

Even a, even a snake being fed a mouse, I, you can't watch it.

Yeah, I don't like wa- Yeah, I don't like watching it. You know, I know that's what they eat. But uh, I don't like to see it.

Nope. My parents don't like nature documentaries, and I don't either, because they often show just like this innocent el- deer, elk-

[laughs] Yeah, just start getting ripped down.

... b- be mauled.

Exactly. [laughs]

[laughs]

And I've seen a bear, you know, ripping apart a deer in real life at Yellowstone.

Right.

That was crazy. I, I don't need to watch it on TV. And I like nature documentaries. But, you know, every time there's gonna be some kind of brutal sad part.

And it's always some, you know, very emotionless narrator just going, "And watch the elk as it dies getting murdered by the lion."

Yeah, yeah.

[laughs]

It's like we get it. We get it that this happens, but-

Watch how there's blood pouring out of its corpse.

Ugh. Yeah. It's ... I don't know, man. I don't know. I still think there are better things they could be teaching kids in school, like how to invest in the stock market, or-

How to change a tire.

Yeah. Ha-

How to cook proper meals for yourself.

H- how to do your taxes. I mean, you can take cooking class, you know.

Is that even a thing?

But-

It's not for elementary school students.

But it's, it's an elective. You, you know-

Elective for high school, and then you're like, well, uh, you kind of get ... I, I, d- there's a whole thing we could talk about this, but I feel like you're kind of driven away from those. Like in high school, if you don't do a sport and you're doing PE, you're a loser.

See, and me-

That was the huge thing.

Me, if I ... I've, I'd wanted to avoid PE and sports and all that at all costs. I wanted to cook food.

[laughs]

You know? Uh-

If you had like a sixth or seventh period in high school for me, you were not the, one of the cool people.

Hmm.

But like, you, if you were a part of marching band, still, I mean, you were ... You'd be doing something physical.

Yeah. See, I'd rather be in cooking class. I think I even took sewing class. I was like- [laughs]

I took 3D design, and that's where you make rings and stuff.

Ah, see-

Yeah

... I don't think we had that technology [laughs] yet when I was in school.

[laughs]

Photoshop was like brand new. I remember doing a Photoshop class.

3D design was dangerous. You had to deal with hot wax and all of that stuff, work with metal.

Yeah, we took, you know, pottery, things like that. I just tried to take fun classes.

Y- you and your, uh-

But I know that everyone was forced to do science. You know, it was a required class.

Yeah.

And you had to chop up frogs, and I didn't wanna do that. It was gross. You know, and, and I didn't get anything in life out of it.

The grossest thing that we have is, uh, Victor Eats, where you eat gross stuff and we have to record it and put it on social media.

Yeah, maybe it did, uh, help, uh, you know ... Maybe that's why they do it, to try to desensitize people to, uh, gore and violence.

I don't know.

You know, they're trying to brainwash kids.

Even just thinking about it is disgusting. I wanna move on from this.

Yeah, let's ... Yeah, this is a gross break. Boom. Bye bye.

[upbeat music] I don't know how this made the news. Well, I do know how, just because

i- it's involving The Rock, Dwayne Johnson, who's one of the most famous people in, in the world, right?

Mm-hmm.

Would you assume that? Would you say that?

Yeah.

Like, he's one of the most famous people-

He's very famous

... worldwide.

Yeah, e- everybody knows The Rock.

Everybody knows the tall, bald, tan, buff guy.

Yeah.

And as soon as you see him, you're like, "Oh, that's The Rock."

It's The Rock.

Which is weird, 'cause he was just a wrestler, and then somehow he became bigger than everybody else.

Yeah, once he got into doing movies.

Yeah.

Yeah. I think also people-

He became huge. We're nostalgic for his era of wrestling, where you could actually say crazy stuff and you could really be off the rails with the stunts. Now, it's just ... I don't know. But, uh, there's this whole article posted about Dwayne Johnson on potential presidential run.

Hey.

We'll see.

Hmm.

How is that news?

Yeah. [laughs]

We'll see. Maybe. Who knows? Like, if somebody gives you that answer, like, you invite them to, like, your, your house for dinner.

Mm-hmm.

"We'll see."

Yeah, it's not news.

M- most likely, it's not gonna happen.

Yeah, it's a ... It's a very low maybe.

It's like you're just taking the, the, the one ... Anything he says, you're putting it into the news.

Yeah.

Will I do the dishes tonight? We'll see.

[laughs]

Put that on [laughs] ... Make that into a ChatGPT article, get it posted.

Ah. I wonder what side's he on. I mean, he's Hollywood, so ...

Oh, he's, he's definitely-

Definitely swing left.

Far left lib.

[laughs]

Do you smell what The Rock is cooking?

[laughs]

Yeah, communism.

[laughs]

Get him outta here. The People's Elbow, more like the Libs Elbow. I, I can't think of anything funnier than that right now.

Yeah, no. It, it would be funny to see him run, uh, run for president, though. I mean, is ... Was he born in America?

Let's find out.

'Cause, uh, that was why I like, you know-

Yeah. Well, Obama was not born from an America.

Oh, jeez. [laughs]

[laughs]

There are still people who believe that.

Uh, he was born in Hayward, California.

Okay. Californian man.

That's right. You're not gonna let a Californian rule me.

Yeah, I mean-

You can go say it to his face. You know? Come on. [laughs]

Sounds like there's a pretty good chance of a number of Californians running, but that's a long ways out. That's, like, three years, so-

The first president to not have any Secret Service members, 'cause he could just-

[laughs]

... beat everybody up. [laughs]

Yeah. "I don't need protection."

[laughs]

"Look at these guns."

Gives you The Rock bottom.

[laughs]

And talk bad about him. That'd be a fun presidential debate.

Yeah.

We joked about that before. Like, what ... He faces who? Like, Bernie Sanders. [laughs]

In the-

Bernie's trying to debate him, and he's just-

In the primaries.

Elbow right to the face, Bernie.

[laughs]

[laughs]

Would add some entertainment to it, 'cause, oh, those debates can be so boring. Yeah.

I would- I would also feel bad ... I would really feel down on myself if I was The Rock or Batista or any one of these celebrities, where they're like, "Man, look how bad of shape he's getting into." They put, like, pictures of you with no shirt on.

[laughs]

You look all fat on the beach. "God, what happened to The Rock?"

[laughs]

Lost all of his muscle. And, like, Vin Diesel, he had those pictures of him on a boat, and he had a-

Yeah

... he had a belly. It's like, that's what happens [laughs] when you're in your late 40s, early 50s.

E- exactly. You can't just stay jacked your whole life.

I feel bad for Jonah Hill. He fluctuates with his weight, and he gets p- ousted every time that-

Every single time.

He gets skinny. "Oh, look how great he looks." He gets fat. "Oh, back to the old Jonah."

[laughs] Yeah, at least we only have to give ... or hear that grief from each other, yeah.

Yeah, you can slowly see the growth of [laughs] both of us-

Yeah

... from the course of-

Go look back

... 2021 to now.

[laughs] There you go. Go look back at some of our older videos. [laughs]

[laughs] [upbeat music] All right, Victor, I already talked about this. Again, for the most part, I prerecord Peaches Pit Party, but I'm still here in the studio doing stuff.

Yes.

It's just that there's so much I have to do that I'm still in the studio and kind of doing the show at the same time.

Mm-hmm.

But I got a head start today-

Yeah

... because I have so much crap to be done.

Mm-hmm.

And it's not looking good, but I might have to do some extra work tonight. Stay later.

Yeah, I've already got people blowing up my phone, record reps. They're like, "Hey, I need to talk to you about something," blah, blah, blah. I'm like, oh

There was an email that we got about trying to interview a particular artist.

Oh. Is this, like, very quickly?

I think the, uh ... No, not today, but at the venue, um-

Tomorrow?

Dead Poets Society's vocalist.

Oh, okay.

I got that email.

I, I don't know if I've seen that one yet. I assume that this call is in relation to tomorrow's show, so ...

Now, to be honest, doing interviews like that, it kind of

... It kind of is annoying, because there's nothing they've done, really. I mean-

Yeah, so you just get to know 'em.

What do you talk ... Yeah, that's ... That's the thing. It's like, I don't-

What are your hobbies?

I ... Yeah, like, I don't wanna point out, like, "You guys have barely done anything musically, so-"

[laughs]

"... we're gonna talk to you, uh, as if like, what do you do behind the scenes? Do you go fishing?"

I mean, they are blowing up pretty good, so you never know.

"Why'd you guys name yourself after a movie?"

[laughs]

Like ...

Do you like music?

Yeah.

You know, that's my favorite question to ask a band. [laughs]

Who's your favorite poet?

[laughs]

But what we're gonna talk about here ... Oh, yeah, so I ... So you had two tabs open. So I'm like, you know what? This would work for me trying to get Peaches Pit Party done, um, as fast as possible.

Yeah.

And you had two different things open. I talked about this, the first one. Uh, Sleep Token fans catching heat for supposedly dropping numerous crowd surfers and telling others to drop crowd surfers at Louder Than Life.

Yes. They were yelling, "Drop that blank." And yeah, you can throw in whatever words you want and it will work, but, uh, they were, yeah, literally dropping crowd surfers. I think the article said, like, 50 people had to get medical treatment. Um, and I'd said it many times, that Sleep Token crowd in Boise was one of the worst concert crowds I've ever dealt with.

I can think of a worst concert ... or a terrible concert crowd myself, but I don't really wanna name that show. [laughs] I just wanna-

There was one here recently-

Yeah

... that was on par with the weakness of the crowd. If you're gonna be in an open floor, there are gonna be people that bump into you. There's gonna be people shoving through. You're not guaranteed a spot-

Well-

... just 'cause you get there early. And sometimes things get unruly.

That's my thing, is that for me, you guys always say, "Peaches, go into the pit." I don't wanna be responsible, because I, I know how, like ... If I were to barely bump into you or somebody your size ...... they could easily get knocked over.

But that's part of it.

And then-

If you jump in the pit-

... somebody records me and then sends it to Jade-

[laughs]

... Jade would immediately be like, "Peaches, you're gone."

N- no.

That, that's how it, that's how it's, that's how it would be.

I don't think so.

100%.

Not if you're in the pit.

No, that, that-

Unless you were, like, aggressively [laughs] throwing people-

But here's the thing-

... to the ground

... people don't realize that if I were to just, you know, th- like, uh, two-step or something like that, and I'm throwing my hands in the air, if I were to punch someone it'd be a different thing than somebody else punching me.

Well, that's why you don't punch, you just do the old-fashioned circle.

Well, that's the two-step hardcore. You're not gonna do that at a-

Yeah

... Chavelle show.

Yeah. [laughs]

But I'm just saying, like-

No windmills, Peaches. [laughs]

[laughs] But if I were to, like, you know, just maybe push someone, all of a sudden someone in the crowd, similar to what you went through recently-

And I didn't even push anyone.

Right. But a ma- like, "Peaches just killed somebody."

[laughs]

What ... And then that's gonna get ... It ... Call the Jade or call the front desk-

I don't know

... it's transferred to HR. No.

But I think if it's in the pit, it should all be forgiven, unless you're just, like, beating people up.

Especially when there's people who just complain about everything nowadays.

Exactly.

I could say hi to one person, not hi to the other, and all of a sudden they call the front desk, "Peaches didn't say hi to my daughter."

[laughs]

Watch, someone's gonna fake that phone call now. [laughs]

Probably. Don't give them ideas.

"I saw Peaches at Walmart eating the inventory." [laughs] Like it's some sort of a-

[laughs] Yeah, don't ... Stop giving them ideas, Peaches. [laughs]

[laughs] I mean, they're not gonna ... The ... Jade would be like, "Hey, just don't get caught next time." [laughs]

Yeah. There you go. There you go.

For that one. But, uh-

[laughs]

Yeah, I mean, I was gonna have Maddie potentially crowd surf at the Hollywood Undead Show 'cause she's tiny enough-

Yeah.

But then I'm like, "Do I really wanna pick up a 19-year-old girl and then have all these dudes be touching, uh-"

That's the thing. If you're a girl and you crowd surf, guys can be terrible.

Right.

I don't, I don't recommend it.

And I'm-

Some girls do it, but-

I was like, "Well, I'm like the overseer of the whole group," and I was especially being protective of Maddie. I'm like, "I don't want her to be crowd surfing and then she just falls right to the concrete floor."

And I have fallen when crowd surfing and it hurts.

She got knocked over in the pit. I didn't even realize it.

Oh.

I ... She told me toda- this morning that she got knocked over by some guy, or two dudes that were, like, holding hands and they were swinging in a circle, like-

Oh, jeez. [laughs]

[laughs] And so ... It was like a human tornado.

[laughs] That's a new move.

Right.

Geez.

That was happening there. But no, luckily everything turned out just fine. It was a great weekend and, uh, uh, Aubrey saw her first ever mosh pit, really.

All right.

And she was kind of, "I don't wanna be a part of this. I don't wanna be a part of this." And it reminded me of the Sleep Token fans that you had to deal with.

Yeah.

But-

Did she like the show?

She had a great time.

All right. Good.

I mean, she was already d- Dead Lands and Scene Queen with me, so-

Okay

... she saw that performance of heavier music being played, but-

All right

... th- that crowd was just ... Y- you would, you'd be more confident about yourself afterwards after seeing what I saw, you know?

Yeah.

Uh, lotta, lots of dudes wearing dresses and I'm just like, "Well-"

[laughs]

"... if they can pull it off, so can I." You know? [laughs]

[laughs] [upbeat music plays]

All right, Victor. Now, I also talked about this at the beginning part of the, the, the Peaches Pit Party later on this afternoon, pre-recording that show. Um, you had this article pulled up from Consequence about this band called Haim, which I'm assuming by looking at them, um, they're alternative indie.

Yeah, that was my guess. And I may have heard of the name, but, you know, the reason that I left the tab open is not because this band is relevant to our listeners, but farts are relevant to our listeners. [laughs]

Uh, uh, they must be more pop 'cause I see Taylor Swift was featured on one of their tracks.

Okay, maybe it's-

They have-

... a pop act

... five million monthly listeners.

All right.

And, and they-

That makes it even funnier.

Yeah.

Um-

I have your Spotify pulled up here.

Okay, let's check it out.

Um, which wa- is their biggest song. But this one's featuring Haim. I don't necessarily want to-

Yeah, what about featuring?

No, uh, l- let's ... That one's explicit. Let's go-

Okay

... to their next biggest song called The Wire, which is also one of the best TV shows of all time. Uh-

That is a great show.

Let me go ahead and pl- press play, then hope for the be- [upbeat music plays] Okay, it has that-

Okay

... alternative indie sound to it. "Howling For You" kind of resembles that-

Yeah

... from The Black Keys.

You know I'm bad at communication.

Okay, it's getting funky.

It's the hardest thing for me to do And let's say it's the most Important part of-

And then-

... relationships are built on truth

Yeah, wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on. Where's ... [fart noise] Where, where's your ... [laughs] Where's your-

[laughs]

Where's your soundboard? So this is what it's been sounding like at, uh, these Haim shows.

And I gave it all away Just so I could say that I know I know I know I know That you're gonna be okay anyway You know there's no rhyme or reason For the way you turn out to be I didn't go and try to change my mind And add a different melody Oh no, it's hard as you can see

Yeah, apparently you, you talked about how there's, uh, the, the ... Somebody asked on Reddit, "Why is there a farter at every Haim show?"

[laughs] A serial farter. [laughs] And I guess it's toxic. I guess it's real bad.

Yeah, someone said, "The man in front of me at the Milwaukee show was farting and it smelt like rotten eggs. Where is the class and decency?" Now, I have to admit-

[laughs]

... the Hollywood Undead Show, [fart noise] [laughs]

Hey, lots of farts. [laughs]

I was letting it rip, dude.

[laughs]

It was full on.

It was Peaches. [fart noise] [laughs]

[laughs]

Farting at shows is funny.

It, it's great.

'Cause you, you watch it go through the crowd and-

And my girlfriend's behind me and I'm just ... [fart noise]

Oh, you're just farting on your girlfriend, Peaches.

[laughs]

Now that's not cool. [laughs]

Well, she also admitted ... I'm not s- I'm not gonna say ... [laughs]

Okay, okay.

No, I'm just making a joke. Um, but, uh-

[laughs]

... um, there, there ... I'm sure there's tons of people, and ... Now, here's the thing. Uh, the, the whole stigma that people don't put on deodorant at metal shows [laughs] is 100% true.

Got you.

They smell like BO in there. [laughs]

Yeah.

They smell like a particular substance, you know?

Oh, I'm sure at a Hollywood Undead Show.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, for sure.

When you have palm trees on the stage. Oh.

[laughs]

I like myself some trees. [spray noise] You know, and then farting at the same time, sucking in the smoke, letting out some steam.

[laughs]

[laughs]

All kinds of gases and fumes in the air.

Right. [laughs]

[laughs] Somebody-

Somebody's gonna tune in at the, uh ... Right as I was playing Haim and playing the fart sounds. "What is K-Bear up to?" [laughs]

Yeah, please, if you're at tomorrow night's Chavelle show, if, uh, if you need to fart, you know, g- get away from me and Peaches. Go find Shaggy. [laughs]

What? [laughs] Is he gonna be there?

I would guess, maybe. I, I'm not sure.

[laughs]

But fart on Shaggy, you know? Come on.

Does he, does he put on the voice in front of listeners? [laughs]

I ... Maybe.

'Cause I wanna know if he's gonna be like, "Whoa, man. Don't fart on me." [laughs]

[laughs]

"That one's a stinker." Like- [laughs]

That'd be great. That'd be funny. Yeah, fart on Shaggy. That's our, uh, that's our requirement for tomorrow night's attendees.

That's our next, our next giveaway.

[laughs]

Record you farting on Shaggy. [laughs]

We'll give you a prize if you record yourself farting on Shaggy. [laughs]

[laughs]

[upbeat music plays] The Noon Hour of Madness and Mayhem is a production of Riverbend Media Group. For more information or to contact the show, visit riverbendmediagroup.com.