[upbeat music] The Noon Hour of Madness and Mayhem, the podcast.
All right, here we are. It's the Noon Hour of Madness and Mayhem. I am Peaches.
I am sinking bit by bit.
I, I can see your face-
Bye-bye, Peaches
... slowly going behind the monitor.
Slowly, slowly disappearing in this, uh, quality chair here. All the chairs, only the best. Thanks, Jade.
I had something to play for you here. I've some fun audio-
Oh, boy
... of this, uh, 73-year-old senator.
Y- okay.
You ready?
I- I'm ready.
All right, here we go. Let's see if I can get to load and actually play the full thing. Uh, come on.
Photograph
of the alien
from the movie Alien.
This is what you could end up looking like
if you eat
some of the raw frozen shrimp being sent to the United States by other countries.
[laughs]
[laughs] Yeah, the radioactive shrimp? Yeah, you eat it, you'll turn into the alien from the Alien movie, 'cause it kinda looks like a shrimp.
And you know how in SpongeBob, Squidward wears the "I really wish I weren't here right now" button?
Yeah.
This one says, "I really wish there were age limits for elected officials right now."
[laughs] I got into an argument with somebody about that, you know, 'cause I would, I think I said like 60 max or something, and they're like, "But that's not fair. Some people..." I'm like, "All right, well, aptitude test."
What do you mean it's not fair?
You know, I, I just think that, uh, politics should be a younger person's game. I'm, n- no offense. We got some great listeners that are older, all right? But when you talk about old politicians, they, they just seem completely out of touch with the modern world. You know, at certain-
Lookit, lookit, lookit at old people at self-checkout.
[laughs]
Look at old people when their phone goes off at full volume-
[laughs]
... and they stare at it, and they do that backwards he- head tilt stare down and just let it ring for five minutes straight.
[laughs] Yeah.
Look at them driving.
I-
They can't drive.
[laughs]
Every time I go down Sunnyside, there's somebody going 25. I go passing around, "Oh, it's old Ethel barely over the steering wheel." It's-
Yeah, so should they be able to set policy and-
No.
You know? No. [laughs] I think there should be an age limit.
They barely have time to live.
And a lot of 'em, they don't even have term limits. You know, like the president has a two-term limit, but everybody else, they can just keep getting elected till the end of time. You know? It's, it's ridiculous. I think there at least has to be an aptitude test, like a really difficult test, and if you can't pass it, you can't run, no matter how popular you are. Like, you failed the test. Like, you know, if, if you wanna be a doctor, or okay, a lawyer, you have to pass the bar, right? Why don't we have that for politicians? There are no
qualifications other than being popular. So if you get enough money behind you, you can, you know, make those attack ads. I- i- if you can get people to vote for you, you can get into the most powerful offices in the country. And it's all money, you know?
Well-
I think there should be a hardcore test.
We also talked about, uh, age limits in radio, like once it reaches-
Yes. [laughs]
Once you reach like, what? 55? 60? What, what was the age that you came up with?
Uh, I think it was about 60. You know? Time to go. Time to get.
All right.
Or else you at least have to move to classic rock or [laughs] something like that.
Yeah, Lou Brutus, 62 years old.
Oh, sorry, Lou. We'll make it 64. [laughs]
I mean, look at, uh, look at, uh, Howard Stern, 71.
I... Yeah, and Stern needs to retire. He, he needs to retire, open up some of that radio money to all those podcasters out there that's serious about it. [laughs]
Ryan Seacrest is 50. He's safe for now. Elvis Duran, how old is he? 61.
61.
He's out.
He's out. It, I, I think it's format specific. If you're gonna move to a, uh, classic-based format like classic hits or classic rock, okay. But a lot of these guys are on like top 40 stations, you know? They're sitting there slinging, uh, Sabrina Carpenter. [laughs] It's like, "Dude, come on. You're, you're too old. You're too old to be, to be doing that, okay?"
Yeah, even the classic rock DJ thing, uh, I just, most of them are so cringe too.
Well, it's 'cause they grew up in a different time when, you know, radio, you gotta put on the radio, boys.
But they also, they've also smoked like two packs a day every day for the past 20 years.
Mm-hmm.
They sound really bad too.
Back when you could smoke in the studio, man.
And they call themselves like Spike or something, you know?
[laughs] Yes, a- age limits for most jobs. That's gonna be my platform when I run for office eventually, but, uh...
Is that gonna happen?
No. It, I, I posted about it on social. It, you just can't if you work in broadcast TV or radio. You're, you're screwed 'cause of the equal time rule. You know, it's, it's, it's garbage, it's antiquated, and I, I don't understand why it still exists, 'cause, you know, media is different now. You know, there's so many different places to get information. Why are these two places, you know, restricted to having to allow equal time to every single candidate if somebody i- is on the air, you know? It's, it's stupid. Stupid.
It's the Noon Hour of Madness and Mayhem. I am Peaches.
I'm Victor.
So my friend, Matt, I've talked to you about him, talked to you, talked about him on the air in general as well quite a lot as of late.
Mm-hmm.
And we hung out with him in LA, me, my friend Christian, and Matt, and we kinda just, we're trying to figure out what to do. For some reason, Matt out of nowhere goes, "Why don't we just go to the top of the LA, uh, City Hall? There's an observation deck at the very top of it, that-"
Yeah, I saw you post a picture from inside there.
Yeah, just-
Yeah.
A- a- apparently that's a thing, that you can just go inside, get your-
Hmm
... stuff checked through security, and then you just get a visitor badge, and you can just walk the City Hall. [laughs]
Okay, was it fun?
It was okay. I mean, who really cares? I mean, I didn't really...... care much for, you know, LA politics, but-
Yeah, I mean-
... it was cool to see. [laughs]
Yeah. Um, I, I don't know if I would've considered that for a tourist destination. Should've gone on the Hood Life Tour, dude.
A lot of those tours are not doing well.
Yeah?
We were walking down Hollywood Boulevard, the TMZ tour, there's a ghost town, like, many things down there, you can tell. And then this p- there's still, still... I saw at least one of those dudes that handed a CD to one guy.
[laughs] Yeah, he still had that going.
I saw, I saw one guy do that, and you can tell, like, he was, he was being forceful with it too. There, there, there was a lot of, uh, I don't know, I, I think they were German. A lot of German tourists walking around.
Okay.
And one of those guys, the one guy we saw, handed the CD over to the dude. And the other guy's like, "No, I really don't need this, thank you. I, I, I don't have cash." And the guy's like, "I take credit card, I take this and that." Just this whole thing.
Jeez.
And for me, I'm just like, "Well, if you won't take it, I'll just put it on the ground and walk away."
Yeah, exactly, exactly. Just put it on the ground and leave. And also, I mean, in this day and age, you should be handing out jump drives. You know, who has a CD player? Like-
Some people, but I mean-
Some
... who really listens to that stuff anymore?
Yeah.
I mean, I'm a guy who collects CDs, and also we've given away CDs on the air. There's always that one jokester in the comments going, "Who listens to CDs anymore, huh?"
[laughs] Yeah. I mean, I collect them too. I have lots that are unopened and things like that, but... I don't know, the last time, the last time I actually played a CD was on the drive to Bellingham, 'cause we got in these areas with, uh, no service. And I was like, "Oh yeah, I have CDs in here." So we were like popping them in, "What, what's on here?" 'Cause they were all burned discs and things like that. And it was kinda interesting, you know, found some albums. 'Cause I'd put like, you know, seven albums on a disc. And, uh, yeah. Then I got back to service and I haven't touched a CD since. Uh, you know, JD dropped me off a couple CDs of his brother's band, and I was like, "Is there a CD player in this building?" I don't know if there is. I don't know if there is.
We, we used to have a disc drive in, on the computer tower in here, but then we somehow switched to, like, this little tiny thing that I don't-
Yeah.
Yeah. So-
Yeah, we got the little supercharged one. I think Jade said we have a, uh, portable one somewhere that you can plug in through USB. But I'd have to go dig around in the engineering room and find it, and-
That's a whole nuisance too-
Yeah
... to, to plug something into the computer and-
It's like I got a lot going on, so I haven't got around to that yet. But yeah, it's funny you mention that the tourists, um, you know, the tourism things in LA are doing bad. 'Cause I've, I've been seeing tons of articles about Vegas.
Me too.
I guess, uh, Vegas tourism is just tanking.
Well-
And you know, they're, they're blaming all kinds of things, but I was in Vegas last fall. It has gotten to be so expensive there.
I even saw, uh, a thing get posted, I'm glad you brought this up. Uh, a thing about how there was these mini fridges in, uh, this particular hotel. And you know if you try to drink anything, uh, you, they charge you money. Or you try to-
Yeah
... get anything out, out of that fridge, they charge you a whole bunch of money.
Yeah.
Uh, there was this one that actually has sensors. If you move anything-
Mm-hmm
... out of that tray, they charge you, like, 50 bucks extra.
Oh yeah, I don't ever touch that stuff. And when we went, we got the cheapest room possible, which was at Circus Circus.
Mm-hmm.
And it was expensive. It was expensive. And then I needed toothpaste. You know, you go into the, uh, the gift shop in Circus Circus, which is, like, low-tier casino. Small tube of toothpaste, 10 bucks. Like, they wonder why people aren't going. And I, I've watched some videos where people are talking about changes they've made to gambling. I don't gamble, so... But I guess they've made it even harder for players to, uh, to win. Like, they've, they've changed a lot of rules and things, upped the minimum bets. And they're wondering why people ain't going. It's too expensive. I would imagine LA is the same.
Oh yeah.
You know? Hotels have got to be outrageous, 'cause even around here...
Well, that's the thing I was gonna talk about too. I was gonna mention this in the next break. Uh, you know, the Olympics, the Summer Olympics are gonna be in LA in 2028.
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
And my friends and I were talking about it, wondering wh- how expensive everything's gonna be.
Oh, geez.
There's gon- there's gonna be traffic mayhem. It's gonna be impossible to fly back home for myself-
Mm-hmm
... even Orange County, just because of all the people from around the world going to that specific area. And I'm wondering too, what is the government going to do? Are they gonna start cleaning up the city now by getting rid of the homeless people? 'Cause you know, you know what happened when all those world leaders came to San Francisco and then Gavin Newsom's like, "You m- some of, some of you may think, or most of you may think that, uh, we cleaned up the city right before these world leaders got here. We did."
[laughs] Of course they do.
And, and, and it's like, I wonder what's gonna happen now once the world is gonna be watching the LA Olympics.
Yeah, Salt Lake did the same thing when they had the Olympics.
But they don't nearly have as many problems as LA does.
No, no. So I-
Oh, and Skid Row's all of a sudden gonna be demolished and turned into something.
[laughs] Yeah. I guess just no events downtown. Just stay away from downt- Yeah, they'll probably hold it all, like, you know, I don't know, up in the hills or something. You know, the nicer areas. I, though I don't know. A- and they've got to build all kinds of stuff, right, to, to make the events happen?
I forgot exactly where all the events are taking place, but you know, the Olympics as a whole, like when they had them in Brazil, there was a whole bunch of issues.
Mm-hmm.
There's been a whole bunch of issues with every country they've been to.
Oh yeah.
And LA is probably gonna have a whole lot of just robbing issues. People trying to go inside the Olympic Village and try to steal stuff.
Who knows? Yeah, LA is a wild place, dude. I mean-
Falling asleep, waking up, there's a bum next to you with a syringe in his arm.
[laughs] Could be. [instrumental music plays]
Victor, we were talking about LA, Las Vegas, and, uh, I was just scrolling Reddit.
Mm-hmm.
Because, you know, I'm a leftist. Um-
That's what all leftists do.
Apparently. But, uh, somebody in R/AskForAnswers posted, "What's the most overrated city you've been to?"
Overrated.
And Las Vegas was one of the top answers here.... uh, L.A., I mean, certainly is one of the more overrated... New York, y- you could say all the big cities, overrated-
Yeah, but-
... in some, in c- in some sense, you know?
I guess it depends what expectations you have when you go to them, because to me they live up to the expectations I had, anyway. I thought New York was cool. I like L.A., I d- I like Vegas for like three days max, then I'm like, "Get me out of this place." [laughs]
I do love big cities-
Can't take it anymore
... but I really can't stand people who just bother you for no reason. I really can't.
Yeah, I don't like that either. I, I'm not a big fan of that. Trying to think of what I would say is the most overrated city that I've been to. You know, i- it's a really tough question. Um,
'cause there's things about every city I don't like, and it's generally traffic, you know, which... That's just part of being in a big city. Like you've heard me complain about driving in Seattle or driving in L.A. Um,
overrated...
Somebody said, "People talk about how Houston is a hidden gem, but I was born and partially raised there and it's never been anything but a humid, uh, bleep, bleep-"
Yeah.
"... in my opinion." [laughs]
Phyllis always said Houston sucked. She, she was not a fan. And Houston does have a pretty good reputation as being a cool place. Um...
Somebody else wrote, "Nashville, overpriced, downtown smells like, uh, number one-"
Mm-hmm.
"... too many cowboy hats and no cows."
Yeah, I've heard that New Orleans, uh, can be a bit overrated from people.
Washington, D.C., saw this one here.
Never been to Washington, D.C. You know, 'cause, uh, I've, I've gotten annoyed in, uh... Oh, I totally had a place that I thought would, uh... Well, no, I was thinking I've been... You know, we were talking about the Joe Rogan subreddit earlier. And, you know, I think that Austin is one of those places that is now really overhyped and, uh... 'Cause a lot of people moved there and are like bailing, yeah.
I feel bad for the people of Austin, 'cause they, they, they really got the whole, like, all celebrities moving to the area. You wanna talk about like, you know, Idaho people getting super mad and being vocal about Californians moving in? Austin got it a whole lot worse.
Oh, it, the, it got it way bad.
Texas got it way worse as a whole.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, and, uh, Texas, I mean, it just doesn't scream the place to be to me at all. You know, like flying over it, being at the, the Dallas airport. I've never been to Austin or Houston, but I mean, just from what I've seen of it, it's just hot, flat, like... I don't know. It just doesn't look good to me, [laughs] you know? Like Texas seems like the last place on Earth I'd wanna move. But s- well, same with Nevada.
There's w- there's way worse than Texas, I would say.
You-
There's way, way worse than, like-
Well, yeah, like there's Mississippi and-
Yeah
... Ohio.
Delaware.
[laughs]
I mean, come on. Portland, Oregon.
Now, I, I, I like Portland. I don't think Portland's that bad. I think it's got a bad rap that, uh... I think they've been cleaning it up pretty good, you know, from what I've heard.
It's still-
But it's, it's a, it's a fun city. It's, it's nice. Um, you know, it's very green. You know, it, it's places like, uh, Vegas, that I'm like, "Why, why would somebody live here?" You know, there's nothing around it. It's just flat, ugly desert. It's not like Phoenix, that at least it's a pretty desert.
Well, Vegas is funny because there's literally nothing around it.
No- nothing.
That's the thing people n- nobody talks about. There's nothing there, and then all of a sudden Vegas just pops up-
Yeah
... out of nowhere.
Like from Phoenix you could drive to Flagstaff, Sedona, you could go to-
Lake Havasu
... Tucson. Yeah, there's so many places you can go. Where are you gonna go from Vegas? Mesquite? [laughs] You know, which is-
Reno. [laughs]
[laughs] Reno's pretty far from Vegas, I think.
It's a four-hour drive from where I used to live to, to Vegas.
Yeah.
So th- that's still a very far drive.
That's a very far drive.
That's a commitment.
That is a commitment. So, I don't know. I mean, I... Like I said, I last three days in that town and I'm like, "Enough." I, I don't know if it's just too much flashing lights and too many people, but I just can't take it after a certain point.
I, I, I love the flashing lights, but when there's crowds, and like I said, people bothering you. When people just walk up to you asking for things or, like, they wanna sell you something, it's like, "Dude, stop." Like, th-
And that's gonna-
... that needs to be a new rule. Like pl- th- there should be a whole law against people just, you know, being on the street as... You know, trying to photobomb your picture and then charge you 20 bucks.
Mm-hmm, yeah.
Th- there's a fake Michael Jordan that's literally on Hollywood Boulevard all the time that lives right by my friend Matt.
Yeah.
And he's, he's been out there for like six years. And he puts on the Bulls uniform, goes out there and does some tricks and people take photos with him and he, they pay him money for what? Just a stupid picture.
Well, who, who is that guy I could go out and dress up as? Do you think I could make money-
Paul Giamatti.
[laughs] Dressed up as Paul Giamatti? [instrumental music plays]
All right, Victor, I thought we could talk about this.
Ah, I-
Again, since I'm a leftist, I'm using Reddit here.
[laughs] Oh, leftist platform, clearly.
Somebody posted in r/AskReddit, "What is an upper middle class problem that you have but you can't really complain about without seeming out of touch?"
Oh, right. I can't wait to see how many of these things I've complained about. No, I'm not upper middle class. [laughs]
"I thought once I had enough money you could just pay people to make problems go away. Now I'm like, 'Oh, I paid $700 to have my gutters cleaned and this is the quality I get?' " [laughs]
[laughs] Uh, yeah, I, I, I could understand that one to a degree. Like, uh, carpet cleaning. All right, I guess they cleaned 'em. Geez. [laughs]
"My mom brought in an interior designer for all the renovations she's doing to our childhood home and I hate the interior designer's t- taste."
Ah.
That's what... Yeah.
Eh, ugh, ooh.
Ooh, duh, duh, duh. [laughs] I don't like the shade of green they picked. [laughs]
[laughs] But yeah, just, you know, come up with the colors yourself. Then hire the people to paint and then be like, "They did a bad job painting." [laughs]
[laughs] "The ice rink closest to my house has, uh, has inconvenient ice times, so I have to drive to a different rink 25 minutes away for my kids to figure skate." Ooh. [laughs]
[laughs] All right, these are pretty good. These are pretty good upper middle class problems that, you know, people are not gonna wanna hear you whine about.
"My laundry room is laid out such that the dryer and washer can't be side by side, but rather have to be placed perpendicular to each other on either side of a water heater in the corner. The door of the front load washer can't be reversed, so it's always sort of in the way while transferring clothes."... who also makes the area around the water heater all but inaccessible without moving the dryer several inches to the left. Again, just-
[laughs]
... laundry room issues going on with this person.
Yeah, I mean, I could complain about my laundry room. It's, uh, it's too small for me to easily have a, uh, basket to sort and load the clothes, because it's just small.
[laughs]
Like my kitchen, it's smallish.
You ready for this one? This one's great. "I'm teaching my kids to ski, but they don't seem into it, so I'll probably just go on my annual ski trip alone this year." [laughs]
[laughs]
"When I heat-"
Oh.
"... when I heat my outdoor inground pool too long and it feels like a bath." Oh. [laughs]
[laughs] Oh, no. Not that.
Oh, "I turned the hot tub up one degree higher than I prefer and now I can't sit in it as long 'cause it's too hot."
This is a Victor answer if I've ever seen one. "I need to replace the aging dock at my lake house." [laughs]
[laughs] Oh, yeah. That, that's me. Oh, ho, ho, my boat. My boat is not up to the, uh, modern standards I'd prefer. [laughs]
I do love when people throw out like the nu- the, the amount they paid. Like that one time when me and my friends were at the, uh, what, what was it, Box Canyon? We were at that pretty water in Buhl, Idaho, r- r-
Yeah
... where m- where my kayak, you know, tipped over and all that.
Yeah. Did you see my birthday message for you?
[coughs] I did. I did. Thank you.
Okay, good. Good.
Thank you. But-
[laughs]
... there was a guy on a jet ski there. And him and his wife were on two different jet skis. And the guy on the jet ski, I think he drifted into the guy's motorboat, something like that.
Okay.
Big fat dude, you know, tan skin. You can tell he's retired. All he does every day is go on his boats and he has this big belly, so you know he eats a lot. And he was just sitting there on his boat, and all of a sudden, we just hear, "Hey. Hey. Hey." And like, and then the, like, the guy on the jet ski ran into him.
Oh, jeez.
And he starts screaming like, "This is my $20,000 boat." Ooh.
[laughs]
Why would you throw that out there? Why, why would you feel the need to do that? [laughs]
[laughs] The value of my truck could possibly be 10 Gs. I don't know. [laughs] It's old, but how dare you scrape against it? [laughs]
This other answer here for what's an upper middle class problem. "The whole thing I was telling my mom about how my westbound flight to Australia would mean I'd lose my Duolingo streak if I didn't take action to fix it, like changing my timezone before boarding the plane, and she very rightfully laughed in my face about it."
Yes, you deserve that. [laughs]
"I once heard someone say, 'In all seriousness, it's so hard to buy art.'" [laughs]
Oh. [laughs] Oh, no. The l- the rough life of art shopping. What am I gonna do? This is, uh, yeah, it... I have no sympathy for these people, Peaches. [Music] The Noon Hour of Madness and Mayhem is a production of Riverbend Media Group. For more information or to contact the show, visit riverbendmediagroup.com.