The noon hour of Madness and Mayhem, the podcast. And here we are. It's the noon hour of Madness and Mayhem. I found out this morning on my way to work that Victor is not here today. So the one, the only mad dog, Maddie Kidd What?
Is in the building. Yo. Maddie, you had yet another listener trying to hit on you. Was it the one during traffic school? Was there one during traffic school?
Well, I guess it wasn't really it was more of like a really nice compliment. He said I had a nice DJ voice, but Oh, no. It wasn't that whatsoever. That was more so just a nice compliment from Right. Our loyal listener troublemaker.
That's why I was like, Peaches. That wasn't a hit on attempt. But No. I went to the the post on our Instagram, the one picture of you, as you can see here. I I do see.
Look at one of the comments from Andrew. Is Maddie available asking for me? So there you go. See? Victor and I don't get any comments like that once a while.
Y'all. Not even from the dudes. Alright? Hey. Hey.
What's that? Barely on the air, and, magically, you start getting comments. We start getting comments like that. Yeah. Yeah.
You're the mad dog. You're the mad dog. Let's just throw a wig on you guys and maybe some some, you know, maybe some eyeliner. Maybe not on you, but I think Victor could pull it off. Could be Victoria.
Wow. Not me. Well, I don't know. I feel like you probably would not like wearing a wig and eyeliner. And I'm not one to, course you to do anything you don't want to.
But I know Victoria's drag race is in the works. How can we improve Peach's look? That that's what I'm trying to figure out. I think and I know you we've already talked about this, but, I think step number one is getting you some some fire fits. Okay.
We need to get you some fire fits. Alright. We got paid today so we can go clothes shopping. Use, Like, maybe just some, like, ripped jeans, you know, get you up with with what's hip with the kids. Are skinny jeans back in style, by the way?
I don't think so. There was a a video Aubrey was showing me last night and, basically well, this one mom who supposedly hip with the kids was saying that, skinny jeans are back and she puts them on and, didn't look too good on her. You know, as much okay. Disclaimer to all of my skinny jean connoisseurs out there. No hate, all love.
Skinny jeans just aren't my cup of tea. And there are only a very select niche of people that can pull off skinny jeans. Well, let's be honest. Look at Jade Davis. Yeah.
Do you think he's gonna put anything on else besides skinny jeans? No. But Like, you know those loose pants those kids wear? Do you really see him wearing those? One day, I'll get him into a pair of one of these bad boys, like the cargo like the straight legged cargo pants.
He would look so fire. He looks so fire. And we'll get you a pair too. And Okay. We'll we'll improve Maddie will improve, my appearance, Victor's appearance.
And, when Victor was gone for that entire week, weren't we supposed to help you make a Tinder profile? Yeah. But I never got my pictures put together. But, I've been going through my camera roll because my phone storage is almost out and I've been, storing the pictures that I like away for for the day of reckoning where we build me a Tinder profile. So Well, I I was hoping that maybe we can get a start on it today if you wanted to.
Word. Let me pull up my my album. At the same time, I'm kinda worried now if we post, you know, a 19 year old girl's pictures in the K Bear one zero one Idaho Rock and Metal Facebook group. How many, like, you know, old dudes are gonna be like, wow, she's pretty. Wow.
She's pretty. She's not in that into that type of crowd. Maybe I'll bag some some gals my age. Who knows? There there's a lot of gals your age that do tune in to K Bear.
That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. So, hey, let me let me get this album pulled up and let's let's cook. Alright. Okay.
So you you heard it here first. Also, if you wondered why we started the hour with Shaking Cages from Silent Theory, which is not traditionally played here all that much on K Bear, not because we don't like the band, but just because it's not really in the playlist. But I decided today since Victor surprised me by not showing up, I would surprise everyone by having Maddie dictate the noon hour of Madness and Mayhem and what we play on this program for today. So Free will. The entire noon hour is going to be Maddie's picks.
And I can tell you right now, she has the music taste of a guy named Kyle who drinks Monster, rides a dirt bike that was born in 1993. And that they fixed their car in the garage. Yeah. Yeah. She's been, telling me some tracks, and I'm like, really?
You like this type of thing? Really? Out of all the songs you could choose. And I was thinking for my birthday too, Maddie. Yeah?
I was gonna do all Peach's picks before I leave. And I don't know. I'll I'll have to get Victor's permission because that's five hours of radio. I'm sure you'll cook. I'm sure it'll be great.
I'm sure. It'll be nice and heavy just like me. But, yeah, we'll continue the noon hour of Madness and Mayhem as well as Maddie's Picks here, here soon. It's the noon hour of Madness and Mayhem. I am Peaches.
Bad dog. Do I have any, like, Valentine's Day beds in the system? Here we go. This one can work for a You consider this Valentine's Day? Sure.
It works for your, for your love life, you know, Maddie? Well, nobody on the the podcast is going to hear the music bed behind us because we can't play those music beds on the podcast version of the show. I know. It sucks. I could sing I could try to sing it, but I don't think anybody would want that.
I might need to just have you do that off air, and then I can loop it and we can make it a music bed behind us. I got you. I got you. Like that. There was a previous noon hour of Madness and Mayhem podcast episode, where you just freestyle rapped.
I did. And it was fantastic. Twenty seconds. And by freestyle rap, I mean, I don't know what she was doing. But Well, I I didn't know you were record.
I didn't know you were recording. Anything in this room can be recorded, Maddie. I hope you know that. There's mics. There's a full system here.
Dude, I've learned that seriously the hard way. Like, seriously, seriously, seriously. There was one there was one time you were, singing Justin Bieber's Baby on loop. I do recall. Yeah.
Yeah. Well And next thing I know, it's blasting over loud speakers. I'm like, oh, dang. Well, I decided to look up the best hinge prompts because I don't know what app you're gonna use if you decide to make a Tinder profile, Bumble profile. Dude, I'm gonna make a resume.
Hinge. Yeah. Put put out, like, a funny, funny profile. I'm because that would gain a a lot of attention. I mean, I'm a graphic designer.
It's Exactly. I got in my pocket. Right. Yeah. Exactly.
I I was, I put pictures of me on my when I back when I was back when I was single, you know. Back in my day. I I put pictures of me with a microphone, and, my opening line to to Aubrey was Was it the paralegal, the one? Yeah. I know.
Yeah. It was Diabolical. Paralegal, does that mean you're in a wheelchair? You're terrible. Shame on you.
I mean, grandpa must have worked out for you. But, Well, her sister helped me out because she showed the message to her older sister. And her older sister was like, oh, come on. Give him a chance. That was funny.
So Hey. You got a wing woman. Nice for you. Thank you. Yeah.
Would you be my wing woman? Yeah. Sure. I can put on the wig and pretend I'm Brenda Payer. This is my girlfriend.
Her name is Brenda Payer, and she is my wing woman for life. I'm the equivalent if there's, like, a girl saying, hey, my friend thinks you're cute over there, and then they point to, like, me in a wig. Or, like, if I go on a first date, I look over and you got, like, a mustache on with, like, a wig and a newspaper. Another mustache on top of mine. Yes.
Yes. Yes. I'm just saying. Well, I pull up this article here of the you know, because every every, dating site has those dumb little prompts. Yeah.
And you can tell who's basic, who really put some thought into it. You know? Mhmm. So for dating me is, like, blank, what would you put? That that's a tough one.
Right? It is a tough one, especially right out the gate. Should we resort to chat GPT? Hey. I'm helping my homie, Maddie Kidd.
Shout out to Brittany Pearman. We love it. Mad dog make a dating profile. Dating Me is like, She needs help with dating me is like I thought you're gonna stop at she needs help. She needs help.
Yeah. Okay. Let's make Mad Dog stand out. The dating me is like prompt. Works best if it's funny, a little self aware, show shows off some personality.
Here are some options you two can play with depending on her vibe. Dating me is like ordering extra guac, a little unexpected but worth it. Nah. Nah. Be boring.
That it's just not my speed. Dating what? Go for it. Dating me is like driving a 2001 Subaru Outback. You gotta put a lot of work into it, but at the end, you'll be so trauma I'm just joking.
I'm writing this down. Like, I'm some I'm some sort of, like, court teleprompter. Write that down. Dating me is like driving a 2001 Subaru. That's it.
Smooth and classy with a little bit of being stuck on the side of the road every once in a while. Perfect. There you go. Yeah. Alright.
Okay. We got that prompt out of the way. Now let's move these pop up ads are really annoying me. Now let's move on to this year. I really want to what what what what is there?
This year, I really want to let's see what Chad GPT suggests. This year, I really want to finally figure out how to fold a fitted sheet. That's a good one. Comedy that is, I mean, I Everyone can relate to that. Knee slapper.
No. What I wanna do this year is actually put all of my laundry away. It's been in a never ending cycle of my laundry not being put away. Okay. That's a good answer.
This year, I'm writing these down for you. Can you tell I'm not pulling anyone from these Tinder profiles because I'm too boring? I'm more of a conversationalist. What can I say? I want someone who Come on.
Oh. The silence is awkward here. I know. Wait. What is this music bit?
I wanna know what this one is. I want someone who is awesome. Oh, here we go. And epic. Chat GPT made a good one.
I want someone who won't judge me for Door Dashing Taco Bell at 2AM. Amen. There we go. Amen. Alright.
Alright. Okay. I'll put that on there. We'll do one more here. Then we'll move on to the the next break.
We might continue this. This is actually a cry for me to get a sugar daddy. Typical Sunday. Should we go with that one? Or my love language is or green flags I look for, maybe that one?
Or no. How about facts about fact about me that surprises people? I have a big girl job at my age. Okay. That's not too I know it's kinda boring.
Maybe you you you work it in your way to where you're like, hey. You see that billboard? I designed that. I've done that a couple times. Okay.
Yeah. You're right. That was boring. Maybe a fun fact about me. I know peaches from K Bear personally.
That's true. I hosted a heavy metal radio show one time and I'm allergic to strawberries. Are you? I am. I didn't know about that.
I didn't know about that. Okay. Well, have you ever drive me nuts one day? I'm just gonna drop off drop off a carton of strawberries. Spider in it.
Yeah. I know. Wait. Door. The building on fire.
Well, on this noon hour of Madness and Mayhem, Maddie has dictated the playlist just because I gave her permission to do so. That's why you heard Behind Blue Eyes from Limp Bizkit just there. But then she decided to really irritate me by playing this next song that I absolutely hate. What song is it? And I mean hate Presidents of The United States Yes.
We're helping Maddie with her, dating profile for whichever site she decides to use, Tinder Resume. The KBare one zero one Facebook group. I go out to to local rock shows and I just hand out resumes to all the people that I see. And I'm like, give me a call if you're interested. Here's my business card.
And I got, like, a little a little tuxedo one with a little bow tie. Sure. Yeah. You think that's how I'd bag? Become dapper Maddie.
Yeah. I think my biggest fear is, dating websites. I just feel like I've heard one too many crazy stories, and I'm I'm not willing to be statistic. But also I'm not willing to die alone. So There's a group of people that will easily protect you, Maddie, just in case.
I do know. You have one of those weird scenarios. No. No. Right.
Yeah. You could do well, may maybe I could be me and Aubrey could be in disguise in the corner of the restaurant. You both have the mustaches with the newspaper with eye holes cut out with the wigs. Yes. Fantastic.
And then so that way, if you start making that pigeon noise at the table Hoo hoo hoo. Maybe you have, like, a red button below Smart. You can hit it like a like what the president has, like a nuclear launch button or something like that. I'll get a life alert. Help.
I've fallen, and I can't get up. But instead, it's just something's going wrong. Your date's like, wait. Why is that why do you have, like, this giant ugly necklace on? You're like, no no reason.
No No reason at all. Don't worry about it, man. Don't worry about it. Yeah. Wasn't Katie from z one zero three supposed to have some sort of, like, dating event happen?
I think so. I haven't been keeping up on it since she's been kind of going tag teamsies with, the the people from the heart. Yeah. Show it to Mosey. Awesome.
Shout out to Mosey. I hear you. I see you. And Jovi, if you're listening, I love you, bud. But I think that one's 21 and unfortunately, I am not 21.
Yeah. That's the thing is you are literally a kid. I am. Both literally and well, I guess, societally. I'm, like, in the trial run of adulthood.
Like, I'm not a premium adult yet. And you just turned 19 Good. Couple months ago? Yep. Back in May.
Back in May. That'll be the best day of the year, May 12. I'll be 29 in almost a week. I know. I thought you're leaving to California for your birthday.
I know Melissa was talking to me about potentially decorating the K Bear studio like you do with all the birthdays, like you and Melissa both do for all the birthdays. Yeah. When are you leaving? I I leave on the twenty ninth, but then on Thursday, we are going to try all the fair food. So a good portion of that day, we're gonna be out.
And then the next day, I'm gonna be so full, I'm not even gonna really eat anything. And then probably, I might have to use the airplane bathroom. That's rough. Right? Those things are tiny.
There's a video of me I have on my Snapchat from, a year or two ago of me trying to squeeze into the airplane bathroom. Mm-mm. Yeah. Back when I had hair and no facial hair. Same.
Okay. That's it. I'm hoping you never do, Maddie. No. I I'm sure you can pull it off.
Hey. If you and Aubrey ever go on a date for whatever reason, maybe I could pull up with the mustache. Sure. Like, she's gonna hate me all of a sudden. I don't know.
Or like that one time when we went to the mall, I'm just like in buckle like it's a cold girl. You're like our little kid, basically. I know. I was just following you around. Aubrey's not short.
She's, like, five eleven, and you're, like, five three. Yeah. It looked like I was having an outing with my parents. And then her her brother was with us too, and he's also really tall himself. Yeah.
And I was sitting here packing around a like a Snoopy Funko Pop. But You you you were kinda dressed like what's that girl lady's name from The Incredibles? The the show that come with me, darling, that that lady. Edna. Edna.
Yeah. You were kinda Is it because I have a bowl cut? Are you saying I have a bowl cut? Bruh. Bruh.
You gotta be her for Halloween now. No. The the thing the thing that you told me was, you wanted to be Jade Davis for Halloween, and I thought that was hilarious because maybe He's so good. You give yourself the Ruby Rose haircut. I even showed Aubrey a picture of Ruby Rose, and she was like, you Maddie could pull off that, like, slick black hair that Jade sort of has.
Dude, I do it for the bit. You know I would. And then you take the hair that you cut off, put it on your face, like, in the shape of a beard, and you straighten it. You straighten it because Jade straightens his beard. Yeah.
I know. I might as well just get it like a Dumbledore costume if I'm gonna go that route. But no. No. No.
You gotta go you gotta do that, and then I have the fake tattoo sleeves There you go. That we can put on one arm for you. There you go. And you can put on some gray shirt. You can have a cane, and you can maybe dye the cutoff hair a little gray.
Oh, dude. That would be the funniest costume. He would get a kick out of it too. I know. I know that for a fact.
I'd even, like, put a, you know, some a chunk of flesh on my leg just to really kick it home. Just because of his accident recently? Yeah. No. I wouldn't go that far.
But Well, I think I think he's at the point where he can laugh about it. Jada, if you're listening and you're not at the point where you can laugh about it, I'm sorry. So we're wrapping up this noon hour of Madness and Mayhem here with a, sort of like we're doing it the lazy way. We're going lazy the Gen z way by having Chad GPT work for us. Amen.
And so I gave Chad GPT this whole prompt about developing a, dating profile for you. Oh, brother. And I gave I gave I said, basically, your, personality, what you're looking for, everything. She just got broken up with, that type of the whole thing. The whole nine yards.
And so then Chad GPT says, got it. Thanks for the context. Maddox profile should balance authentic emo slash quirky charm Emo. With her warm, funny, lovable personality so it stands out but still feels true to who she is and not just another sad breakup rebound profile. Here's the best approach for her vibe.
And it's it gives me the whole breakdown. But I do like what it says for the photos, mix of her cozy retro vibe, teacups, grandma couch, cardigans, crochet blanket aesthetic with some fun candid ones. And then it says, if she's got that emo streak, one moody, edgy photo fits, not just not all of them. I've got, like, a three day emo streak and that's about it. Okay.
Well, there here we go. We it also used some of the prompts that we entered before. Dating me is like crashing at grandma's house but with cooler playlists and a lot more eyeliner. Amen. There we go.
This year, I really want to adopt more plants than my room can handle and maybe fall in love with someone who waters them with me. Dude. That's basic. I'm a be free with you. I'm about to barf.
I actually can't keep plants alive, like, at all. Nobody can. Every time I talk to someone who has plants, like, yeah, I keep them alive. And they think it's, like, a funny part of their personality. It's it's just not worth the effort.
It's just not worth the the time it takes. But I do have fish. You have pet fish. You do have tons of fish. That's one thing many people don't really know about you.
I didn't know till, like, months in of you working here that you're like, yeah, by the way, my room is full of fish tanks. I love my babies. I'm a proud mother. I want someone who can laugh at dumb jokes, scream scene to sad songs in the car, and still sit in silence without it feeling weird. Scream scene, deny you be denied it.
Yeah. Can you do the whole scream singing? Like, the high pitched, because Maddie's one of those people. This this irritates me. She says she can't sing at all.
But then when she does, it's better than anything I've ever done in my entire life. It's only because I do it for the bit. But by scream singing, you mean, like like, high like, pitch Right. Shrill? Yeah.
Like, whenever you hear some, some vocalist, like, not even Spiritbox because Courtney goes deep. She has a deeper voice. I'm trying to think of who who could does the scream singing. Deadlance. Casey Carlson.
She can do the, the scream singing. You know? I don't think I think my voice is too deep for that. I got a pretty pretty deep voice for a lady a young lady my age. Because Kasey Carlson's, like, 23.
She sounds normally like this. But then she goes into Oh, wait. That's still the clean singing. Yeah. So you can practice.
I'm I'm more of the, I am my name, mister John. I'm a smoker. You know, that's that's bad. That's all I that's all I got. I'm sorry.
I can't come in. Dinosaur. That's all I got for you. I'm sorry. What is the one thing that you, you did, that you'd usually sing like the what's that?
And now I'm drawing a blank. It's driving me nuts. Yeah. You usually sing it like the the I'm better off. No.
No. Be who you are. That's who you are. You sing something like that. Yeah.
Rest in peace to the gal who sang that, I miss you, girl. There's that. What else do you do around here? La la la la la. You do do that.
I don't know. You also whistle from time to time. Do you you impersonate, like, somebody's phone? Yeah. There's that.
I love antagonizing these hallways with my yapping. All I do is just run up and down, go la la la la la. Yap, yap, yap, yap, yap, yap, yap, or blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm sure a lot of the salespeople especially get really tired of it after a while. I don't know if we're gonna be able to upload your pictures to the Kay Bear group because yet again, we might just get a whole bunch of comments from people who haven't listened to this hour of saying things like, you know, they're trying to trying to get you and it's like, that's not your type of crowd.
No. I'll put together the resume and I'll be like, hey, guys. No applications. I just need feedback. And then we'll kinda go from there.
Alright. We'll go from there. Alright. Well, might we might have to get, ask Jade for permission to do something like that. God, no.
You know what? As much as I appreciate the offer and as much as I love the K Bear army, I'll figure it out. Right. Maybe I'll just move to the Oregon Coast. That's probably where I'm going.
I'll just disappear and change your name. Yeah. And then I'll I'll I'll I'll go searching for it but then I'll hear off in the distance you doing the whole On me. On the whole. On like a distant hill cliff.
I'm like, you're like, no, is that you? Yes, Peaches. It is me. Well, the one song I found out that you, you cry to quite a lot. Is the Everlong by Foo Fighters.
Is Foo Fighters from I'm gonna say Foo Fighters from Everlong. Everlong from the Foo Fighters, and we'll wrap up this noon hour of Madness and Mayhem with that track. Thank you, Maddie, for joining today. Always my pleasure. And, I'll be back at two for Peach's pit party.
And any last words, Maddie? Anything you wanna plug? Nothing? Be who you are. The noon hour of Madness of Manhamed is a production of Riverbend Media Group.
For more information or to contact the show, visit riverbendmediagroup.com.