[upbeat music] The noon hour of Madness and Mayhem, the podcast
It's the noon hour of Madness and Mayhem. Happy hump day, Victor.
Yay.
We're halfway through the week. We gotta be positive on this program.
That's right. Keeping it nice and cheery. We're pumped that it's Wednesday.
Let's talk about bright and uplifting news.
Okay.
Why not?
What do you got?
You wanna, you wanna do a sick prank to your significant other?
[laughs] Maybe.
'Cause, uh, yesterday... Well, I'm, uh, we're, we're being sarcastic, by the way, about positive and uplifting news, 'cause for some reason there's a lot of people that go like, "You, you guys talk about too much negative stuff-
Well-
... o- on the air"
... it's not our fault that that's all that's floating around. Find us some sunshine and rainbows.
That's entertaining to talk about.
[laughs] Exactly. Yeah.
'Cause I'm-
We try
... we're not gonna do good, good news to get you going or something like that-
That's right, Peaches
... this entire hour.
That's what we're gonna do all, all this entire show, good news to get you going.
So last night, uh, Aubrey and I were supposed to do, like, what we call a personal day, which means she stays at her place, gets to do her stuff. I stay at my place, get to do my stuff.
Mm-hmm.
We do those from time to time just to get stuff done, you know, conquer, split and conquer, whatever, whatever, whatever the thing is.
Divide and conquer.
There we go. Yeah, divide and conquer. So I, uh, I order Wingstop through DoorDash-
Mm
... pay like 30 bucks for this, uh, meal for two, 'cause I plan on having it for dinner-
Mm
... and also today at lunch.
Yeah.
But right as I eat, like, six or seven wings,
I get a call from Aubrey. "Hey, we're going to Texas Roadhouse. You wanna come?"
[laughs]
I go, "Sure."
It's a personal day.
Sure, yeah, yeah, I should've, should've yelled that. But no, I, I, I go, "Sure," and I order the tiny salmon portion-
[laughs]
... ordered the vegetables and the, the salad.
All right. All right.
It wasn't the true Texas Roadhouse experience.
Yeah.
But, uh, so after that, we hang out for a little bit, 'cause, you know, she's already in Idaho Falls. Might as well do that-
Mm
... and just make today a personal day.
Mm-hmm.
But we were FaceTiming towards the end of the night when she was, uh, laying in bed, and, um, she had the camera angled to the back of her bedroom, and it's dark.
Okay.
And she gets kind of freaked out by certain things. So
here's a, uh, here's the picture. All you see is her arm and the back of her room, right?
Yeah.
So I go, "Let me discreetly take a screenshot-
[laughs]
... and go to ChatGPT and edit this picture, and then all of a sudden get, like, real big eyes and act like I'm scared, and then put this." [laughs]
[laughs]
I go, "Aubrey, there's someone behind you."
[laughs]
[laughs] That does look scary.
It, it's like a 10-foot-tall woman just-
Yeah, it's pretty, it's pretty frightening
... standing behind Aubrey. She's like, "Brent, stop."
[laughs]
"Stop." She gets all freaked out herself.
[laughs] Jesus.
I had to delete it from the text message conversation.
[laughs]
So she went... She's like, "I'm here alone in my room."
[laughs]
I'm like, "Aubrey, you have a roommate." Like... [laughs]
[laughs]
She, your roommate's, uh, y- your roommate's room is closer to the front door if anybody breaks in, so they'll get her first-
Yeah
... kinda thing.
Yeah, there you go.
Yeah, yeah, but-
You're all good. [laughs] That's pretty funny, Peaches.
So a- and the next time any of you, especially the listeners, if, if you ever o- once you FaceTime your significant other or a friend, uh, just screenshot the, the, the whole thing and then put it through ChatGPT real fast and say, "I think your house is haunted."
[laughs]
"I think there's something going on."
That's a great prank, Peaches. [upbeat music]
Well, we should change the name of the show today to the, to the noon hour of positivity and uplifting-
Yeah
... or up, w- positivity and
bliss?
Sure. Sure.
The noon hour of positivity and bliss-
Positivity and bliss
... for those hippies out there that want something good-
Yeah
... to, to get you going, to make you happy throughout the rest of your, uh, your hump day.
Are we gonna talk about the other prank that happened here today?
Uh, we could.
Yeah.
To really, to really, uh, make Maddie just have a good laugh.
[laughs] Yes. So yesterday was Maddie's birthday. I'm sure you've heard Maddie on the show from time to time. Um, and Becca got this funny idea to send her some, uh, flowers for her birthday. Well, it, it didn't start off as funny.
It is crazy how girls, for their birthday, they get a whole bunch of gifts.
Yeah.
For us it's like, "Hey, another year older. Am I right?"
Yeah, exactly. "Here, have a tall can." Um, so Becca decides she wants to, uh, send Maddie flowers, and she's ordering them and then-
What a, what a nice gesture-
Yeah
... on this noon hour of positivity and bliss.
Mm-hmm, and then it comes to the card where you get to put your little message, and then she starts getting ideas and decides, "Okay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna prank Maddie a little bit, and we'll make her think these are from a secret admirer, and we'll call him Clint." [imitates guitar riff] Clint. So she... What'd she put on the card, "I really like you"?
No, "I like you a lot."
"I like you a lot." Well, and I think on the front of the, front of the card it said, like, "Get well soon."
Yeah, there's a get well soon, uh, pin or one of those little things with the points. Like, it looks... It's, it's like, it's get well soon on a stick-
Okay
... in the flower bouquet itself, or bouquet-
Okay
... however you say it.
And then it's, uh, "I, I really like you," or whatever the message was.
"I like you a lot"-
"I like you a lot"
... from Clint. And-
From Clint
... I don't know if Becca's handwriting was intentionally that atrocious or if she just writes like that.
I think that that would've been the flower shop, wherever she got them from. I don't know where she got them.
Whoever they hire over at that flower shop to write those messages-
[laughs]
... uh, uh, deserves to, uh, I don't know, maybe stick to arranging the bouquets or something.
Okay. So [coughs]
It was written like a, a doctor's note, which made it even funnier.
[laughs] So the flowers show up today, and Maddie is, like, creeped out. [laughs] 'Cause she thinks they're from some weird listener or something.
I get a, I get a random text. That's what started the whole thing. That's what got my attention to it. "Peaches, dot, dot, dot, do you know a Cling?" And then, "Clint."
[laughs]
And I already... And then I knew what was going on as soon as she asked that
So you pop over and you're talking to her and you, you're like, "All right, let's, let's go see if Victor knows a Clint."
No, I, I walked over there and was, like, going along with the whole thing. I'm like, w- what random listener would send you something like that? Like, you sh- I m- I, I told Star, I'm like, "Maddie's been hit on in the past by different listeners." Like-
Yeah
... somebody asked for her number at the, at the show, um, at the Complex.
Oh, wow.
And her girlfriend was right there.
[laughs]
So that was funny. Apparently, uh, after this whole prank, uh, Maddie's girlfriend's now, uh, t- tweaking out as well.
Oh, really?
'Cause she thought it was legitimately a secret admirer. She was, she was ready-
[laughs]
... to fight somebody like Scrappy Doo.
[laughs]
[laughs] Maddie's girlfriend's, like, 4'11", 5'0".
Oh, geez. [laughs]
She's a tiny, tiny [laughs]-
Tiny, angry person.
Ti- that, that's why I said Scrappy Doo. [laughs]
Yeah, I've, I've met many of those. Uh, so you guys come by my office, and Maddie's like, "Do you know anyone named Clint?" And I start laughing.
[laughs] Sorry I, I made you laugh 'cause I was laughing. [laughs]
'Cause I couldn't hold a straight face, and I'm like, "Yeah, I know a Clint." And I pull up a video of Clint, and we still hadn't told her, like, Becca did it. And you would've thought it would've just clicked 'cause Becca's in the video that Clint's in, you know? [laughs] But it just didn't click, and you're like, "Becca wrote the letter. Becca sent the flowers." I'm like, "Oh, thank God." [laughs]
But on this noon hour of positivity and bliss, like, we're really trying to spread the word about, you know, sending flowers to those on their birthday.
Yeah.
Man or woman.
Yeah, it's a g- it's a good, nice thing to do. Everybody appreciates it. Um-
Mayb-
... doesn't, doesn't require a lot of thought
... maybe you could include a nice, uh, a nice note that says, "I'm watching you."
"I'm watching you."
"I can't wait to see you snore."
[laughs]
[Instrumental music] All righty, Victor. I, I figured we would include some tranquil music behind us-
Oh, good
... on this noon hour of positivity and bliss.
Let me lean back in my chair and take a nice nap. Thanks, Peaches.
I'm going to sleep now.
I was gonna talk to the listeners about, uh, paying it forward, Victor, because we're trying to be more positive here on the program.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
'Cause there's been a few, uh, rotten apples as of late-
[laughs]
... that have, uh, talked about how I'm a...
I, I like to pick on everything.
Yeah.
So let's, uh-
Mm-hmm
... let's be positive here.
Okay.
And let's talk about how
Sky Lea at McDonald's off Lincoln Road this morning, um, she got shouted out in the Life In Idaho Falls Facebook group, the one that you're so wrongly banned from.
Oh, the one I'm banned from.
Yeah.
Boo.
Because there's a rotten apple running the whole thing over there.
Mm-hmm.
But a, a person by the name of Maddie said, "Shout out to Sky Lea McDonald's off Lincoln Road this morning. Heard me say my kids had sore throats when ordering their ice cream. She had us pull forward to the side, and she brought me out a tea with honey that she made."
Aw. Well, that's really nice to do for somebody. Yeah.
I'm hoping the listeners like this.
I hope they do, too. Yeah, maybe you're cruising around, it's the lunch hour. You're sitting in a drive-through right now.
You know, look at how many people are in the car behind you. If there's more than one, don't do it, but if it's just one, maybe pay for their order.
[laughs]
[laughs] If it's somebody Peaches' size-
[laughs] Don't pay for it
... d- don't pay for it-
[laughs]
... 'cause you will pay for it.
If it's a little, little person, you know, just someone who's small,
buy their meal.
[laughs]
Pay it forward. [laughs]
Somebody posted in, uh, Welcome to Rockville, I wanted to talk about this post, too. "I crowd surfed for the first and last time. During Breaking Benjamin, I was dropped, and I'm now calling them Breaking McKenzie," 'cause her name's McKenzie.
[laughs]
"I unfortunately have a compression fracture-
Ooh
... at L1, but fortunately, no other in- injuries. I just wanna thank all those around me when I fell who helped by stabilizing my head and keeping my breathing steady. Thank you to all the medics and guards at Rockville who handled the situation graciously in the best way I could imagine." And there's a picture of McKenzie in the hospital.
Aw, look at that.
And look at her being so brave to go back to the pit once her injury is healed.
That's right. Way to help people out. Always pick them up in the pit. Take care of your fellow concertgoers. You know,
uh, buy somebody a drink every once in a while. Tip your bartenders. [laughs]
Wash your hands before you, uh-
Wash your dirty hands
... before you eat dinner.
[laughs]
Take a shower before you get in the hot tub.
[laughs] That's right. Put on some deodorant before you go to a show.
Really, really help out those who are, uh, vertically impaired.
Yeah.
Well, like, like Maddie's girlfriend Bryn, for example, who's, you know, the size of a Tootsie Roll. Um, she was smelling a lot of people's armpits at the, uh, Vanna show.
Mm-hmm.
And I was thinking if you're going to a show where there's a attractive woman on stage, don't you think smelling bad would be the last thing that you would want to happen to yourself?
Yeah. You, you'd think you'd wanna be very presentable.
I, I thought maybe that, but-
Maybe
... there was a few dudes that looked like they haven't showered in a few weeks wearing kilts.
Uh, okay.
And you're wearing that to a show where there's a girl on stage.
Yeah. Guys-
[laughs]
... it's okay to shower, use soap, brush your teeth, use deodorant. Wash-
[laughs]
... wash every part of yourself.
I'd be so embarrassed wearing a kilt-
[laughs]
... walking around 'cause you're not supposed to wear underwear below. So if you get that one weird, uh, that one weird wind blow...
I'm gonna go get myself a kilt.
Yeah.
That's how I'm coming-
That's right
... to work from now on.
[laughs]
Just like that.
[Instrumental music] All righty, Victor. We're wrapping up the, uh, noon hour of positivity and bliss.
Mm-hmm.
We got this, uh, ambient meditation music behind us.
It's been very relaxing.
I hope so.
Let's, uh, pay a visit to our favorite Facebook page, Life Is Idaho.
[laughs] Life Is Idaho. All right.
This was posted-
I'll get over there
... two hours ago. I want you to show Lieutenant Crane this picture. As a nice educational, uh, as a great educational segment that is Traffic School, powered by the advocates every Friday morning at 8:45, I really want you to ask Lieutenant Crane-Do the Idaho State Police stand on top of a bridge pointing their guns at people-
[laughs]
... telling them to slow down?
[laughs] I see that picture.
[laughs]
Looks real. [laughs] And the cars are gray. They don't look like Idaho State Police cars.
Breaking: Idaho State Police have officially mastered the art of mountain surveillance. You're cruising through Idaho thinking life is peaceful, pine trees everywhere, snowy peaks in the distance, cool mountain air, a gas station selling huckleberry everything-
[laughs]
... and enough open highway to make you feel spiritually free, right, Victor?
Oh, yeah.
Just like this noon hour of positivity-
Mm-hmm
... and bliss. Then suddenly you glance up at the overpass.
[laughs] And there's five armed-
But-
... Idaho State Police
... it says in the caption four, so they don't know how to count, but that's okay.
Okay.
We'll let mistakes, you know, come and go.
Yeah.
Four state troopers standing there like a wilderness watchtower unit tracking elk migration, except the elk is your lifted truck doing 83 in a 65.
Yeah, I-
Lieutenant Crane pulls out his gun and shoots you. No, I'm just kidding.
[laughs] Jeez.
At this point, Idaho speed enforcement feels less like highway patrol and more like a full outdoor observation program.
So-
Yeah, I mean, it looks totally legit to me, Peaches. Um, I will definitely show this to Lieutenant Cr- Lieutenant Crane.
I feel like this, uh, this is a new tactic that they're, uh, they're adopting, but I also feel like it's gonna be one that's, uh, quite, uh... What's the, what's, what's the word I'm looking for?
Controversial?
No, not controversial. Quite, uh... What's the, like, where you... Convincing. Quite convincing.
Ah. Ah.
'Cause y- y- you wouldn't want a gun pointed at you if you're going 20 miles per hour over the speed limit, right?
No, no. Usually you expect flashing lights.
Right.
You know? And-
But instead you got an AR-15 right to your face.
[laughs] I mean, hey, you know, we're entering into difficult times, Peaches, and, uh, there's a lot of, uh, reckless behavior out on our roads, as we have learned during traffic school powered by the advocates. So I think our local law enforcement, yeah, they've just gotta take some [laughs] new measures.
There was a lady yesterday that I wanted to point out. I was trying to find her post in the Life In Pocatello Facebook group. It wasn't the best of sentences-
[laughs]
... but it got the point across, where this one lady was asking, uh, was... No, she was saying, she was reminding every- warning everybody that, uh, she got pulled over for going 35 in a 20 school zone.
Mm-hmm.
And that they were going to send her to jail.
To jail?
Yeah, that's what she wrote.
To jail?
Yeah. She-
I'll have to ask Lieutenant Crane about that on Friday, too, 'cause I wouldn't think they'd throw you in jail for that.
Yeah, what are you in for?
Yeah.
"Went a little too fast right by, uh, Skyline."
I mean, maybe school zones, they
do make it a little bit more strict in throwing you in jail, but I, I, that just doesn't sound right. I don't know.
I'm just wanting to spread the information about, uh,
about being safe out there.
Right.
You know, don't, don't, don't speed, all right?
Slow it down!
The noon hour of positivity and bliss wrapping up.
Slow it down, you piece of crap!
Let's play-
Oh, sorry
... let's play a nice love song from Atreyu.
Okay.
It's called All For You. [upbeat music]
The Noon Hour of Madness and Mayhem is a production of Riverbend Media Group. For more information or to contact the show, visit riverbendmediagroup.com. [upbeat music]