[upbeat music] The noon hour of Madness and Mayhem, the podcast
It's the noon hour of Madness and Mayhem. I am Peaches.
I'm Victor.
Do you follow this page called Life is Idaho?
Life is Idaho?
Life is Idaho.
I don't think I do. Let me see if I can find it.
I feel like you have to say that page name like the guy who says, "Welcome to Jurassic Park."
Life is Idaho.
They, uh, put out one of those AI-generated posts that we talked about on your morning show.
Oh, great
Um, and the caption says, "Idaho used to feel like this: open valleys, quiet back roads, little farm towns, and mountains sitting peacefully in the distance."
Yeah, how long ago?
Now it's starting to look like this: another subdivision-
[laughs]
... another apartment complex, another coming soon sign where open land used to breathe. And sure, growth happens. People want to move here for a reason, but Idaho was never supposed to feel crowded.
[laughs]
People fell in love with Idaho because it felt different. The space, the calm, the rivers, forests, and small towns that still felt untouched.
Yeah, what, 100 years ago?
[laughs]
What are you talking about?
Roads where traffic meant getting stuck behind a tractor instead of brake lights.
Yeah, you-
So you can cuss out the tractor driver rather than the guy driving the Chevy in front of you.
Yeah, you can still find these kind of places. You have to leave the city. You can't be in Idaho Falls, can't be in Coeur d'Alene, can't be in Boise.
Or Pocatello.
Or Pocatello. Twin Falls. You gotta drive out of town. You gotta go out to them rural areas. You know, take yourself a trip to Stanley.
I'm not done with the, uh, caption here, Victor.
Oh, God.
You could drive for miles and hear nothing but wind through the trees and tires on pavement.
You can still do that.
That's the Idaho people are trying to hold on to, Victor.
Oh, yeah. Is it?
Because once every field becomes another parking lot, once every quiet town starts looking exactly the same, you don't just lose land, you lose the feeling. [laughs]
Oh. [laughs]
Keep Idaho, Idaho.
Keep Idaho, Idaho.
#Idaho. #KeepIdahoIdaho.
Oh, my God.
#OnlyInIdaho. #MountainLife. #SmallTownVibes. #IdahoLiving.
Okay, you can find that. You need to go live out in the sticks, okay? Go live in, I don't know, Saint Anthony or something. Take yourself a drive. Go, go live in Salmon.
I see-
[laughs] Right?
... Jennifer, "Amen," all capital letters.
Go to Riggins.
I, I see G. Allen, "Well, maybe by stop re-electing the same people to the state legislature again and again would be a good start."
Well, I agree with that, but, um, that's not gonna stop the people from moving here. And-
And then we have Mike putting the wrong to in this one with too late.
Too-
He just put T-O.
T-O. Too late. [laughs] Yeah, yeah, I've, I've never seen a small town in Idaho, Peaches. I don't know about you, but I've, I've just never seen one.
But again, nobody can ever answer my question of, like, why is it that people hate on ... People, people, people from here hate on people coming to the state, but then they pop out 12 kids.
I ... You know, yeah.
Those are 12 more mouths to feed, 12 more people taking up space.
And then they'll probably hook up with 12 more people and have 12 more, and that's 144-
[laughs]
... 'cause I remember my times tables. It's a lot of people. [laughs]
That's a lot of cars out there on the street.
That's right.
Taking up Sunnyside.
Yeah. You know, y- again, move.
What, what's also funny too-
Move
... is that sometimes there's this ad that plays on all the stations saying, "Don't tell your kids to leave the state. Have them stay here."
[laughs]
Well, that's more people.
That is more people.
Staying in Idaho.
Yeah. Tell 'em to get. [laughs] You want-
Yeah, yeah. Tell 'em to go to California.
Exactly. You want Idaho to go back to the way it used to be, tell your whole family to leave. Tell all your friends.
[laughs]
Tell everyone, "It's time to move. I need to go..." And, and then you move yourself out to a cabin in the woods. Yeah, enjoy it. [upbeat music]
Well, Victor, I decided to click on Life is Idaho. I, I feel bad they're getting a free plug on this noon hour of Madness and Mayhem, but we gotta talk about how simple Idaho used to be, Victor.
Oh, geez.
[laughs] Through stories and photos, Life is Idaho remembers the people, places, and simple life of Idaho.
[laughs]
And then it calls itself a community center.
All right.
The profile picture, proud to be from Idaho.
[laughs]
Idaho, Victor. Idaho.
Oh, geez. I hate that phrase.
You love that.
Now-
It's m- it's almost like when you see ... When you go into some, like, generic family's home around here and you see that stupid sign that has the word home written in cursive.
Mm-hmm.
As if I forgot where I was.
[laughs]
Maybe they're prepping for an, an Alzheimer diagnosis.
Okay.
And they just forget where, who, where they are and go, "Oh, yeah, I'm in the living room."
Like the most recent post from an hour ago-
This is, this is the one I sent you
... it, well, did, did you see this one?
Yeah, that's, that's, that's the one I sent you.
Oh. Oh, okay.
Idaho has entered the chat, and half the state is still off grid.
Yeah.
You can tell they ferociously used ChatGPT for this page-
Oh, yeah
... with all these AI-generated pictures.
Mm-hmm.
And these captions also, 'cause I can ... Everybody knows now what a ChatGPT AI-generated caption looks like. And I think there's a certain website called zerogpt.com where you can, uh, put in somebody's caption and see how, how much of it is AI.
Yeah. Yeah.
Uh, there was a certain post that somebody made not that long ago that, uh, was 98% flagged.
[laughs] Yeah.
So there, there was that.
[laughs]
But I'm sure this one's 100% with all these stupid emojis.
Oh, yeah. Definitely.
And plus the, uh, the em dashes. People are now learning the, oh, oh, about the overuse of em dashes in captions.
Yeah, and this picture, they've got a picture of Idaho split in half down the middle from, we'll just say top to bottom, from north to south, and they've got-The western part of the state, the entire thing labeled North Idaho, and then the right part of the state labeled South Idaho, you know, the, the eastern part of the state. If anything, you'd break Idaho into three chunks. There's northern Idaho, which is Coeur d'Alene-
Coeur d'Alene
... e- et cetera. Then there's western Idaho, which is Boise, and most of western Idaho does not look like this. It's not thick, lush forests. It looks like here. It's a, it's the desert.
It's worse than here.
Yeah. But then if you go the northern part of East Idaho that they've got just a empty desert, uh, that would be a heavily wooded area. That's when you're about to reach, uh, West Yellowstone.
Yeah. [laughs]
That's Island Park.
Absolutely.
It's not the desert. [laughs]
But Victor, according to Life Is Idaho-
This i-
Let's read this here. "Idaho isn't just one state. It's mountains, farmland, rivers, desert, and enough back roads to disappear for an entire weekend."
Yeah.
Do you want me to keep going? [laughs]
G- well, yeah, 'cause the next sentence is where it goes, uh, off the rails and is incorrect.
"One side has alpine lakes, pine forests, and little mountain towns where everybody owns hiking boots and knows the best fishing spot."
Yeah. You ever been to Victor in the eastern part of the state? [laughs] Or Driggs? Exactly. Alpine lakes, pine forests, little mountain towns. Yeah. This map is, is crap, Peaches. This is garbage.
"North Idaho folks will tell you the real Idaho is cabins, huckleberries, and weekends at the lake."
Yeah. Did you get any huckleberries, um, up in Coeur d'Alene, Peaches? Is that where you went when-
I've never stepped foot in Coeur d'Alene
... [laughs] when we were talking about huckleberries earlier? Yeah, we don't have those around here. No. And traffic was backed up for 12 minutes in Boise?
Okay. Tell-
You mean 12 miles.
[laughs] Yeah, exactly. 12 minutes. Oh my gosh.
Well, the one picture that I might wanna save for... Oh, wait, no, you already talked about this one. "Idaho finally updated its welcome sign, and somehow every single line feels both completely accurate and slightly threatening in the most Idaho way possible."
Yeah. I think we're gonna have to go through, uh, a few more of these posts.
"Our potatoes are legendary."
That was the one we talked about this morning. So all of these are coming from this stupid page.
"The mountains aren't just pretty, Victor, they're a lifestyle," as you said on the, uh, the morning show, which doesn't make any sense at all.
Ah, geez. Okay. W- we're, we're gonna stay on this page for the next break 'cause this page is infuriating, Life Is Idaho.
Now, would you choose the mountains or the beach?
'Cause a lot of people from here don't have beach experience for the most part.
Yeah.
Um-
My friend Bryson profusely d- uh, is that the right word? No, he, he will... He's attached to the mountains.
Okay.
For me, I hate both. But- [laughs]
You hate both. [laughs]
But if I were to choose one, it would be the beach, just 'cause it's, it's easier to navigate. There's not... It's not cold, but I'm not gonna get in the ocean.
Y- yeah.
And I also hate the sand.
[laughs] Then-
The sand just keeps in your shoes.
That's right. [laughs]
And you have to be, like, half naked to walk on the beach, otherwise you look this... Y- you're deemed the weirdo at the beach if you're walking around in shoes and a T-shirt and-
Well, unless you go to, like, the, the Oregon coast or... You know, it, it's cold there. Very different than the, uh, Southern California beaches. But, okay, if we're talking beaches with mountains or beaches without mountains, you know, like, you know, if you were on the East Coast, I,
I don't know. That doesn't seem like it'd be great. I like having the mountains in the background. You know?
I've heard the beaches, like, towards New Jersey are pretty bad.
I, I would think so. You know, they don't sound like they'd be great. It's a hard question, Peaches. I don't know if I'd go mountains or, um, ocean. I, I like them both. [upbeat music]
I wonder how many people we're pissing off with this, uh, noon hour of madness and mayhem so far, Victor.
No, I don't know. It's, it's-
Pre- I'm pretty sure we'll see some comments going, "I love my Idaho.
#boycottKBear."
Oh, geez. [laughs]
"This is why I stopped listening to KBEAR, and I'm gonna slowly, uh, un-add myself from their, from their social media platforms."
#KeepIdahoIdaho.
That's right. #, uh, bear migration. I don't know.
Yeah. The... Well, speaking of animals, this was the page apparently where I saw that sharks had invaded Idaho, Peaches.
Oh. [laughs]
Yeah. Y- uh, I don't know if you saw this one. I talked about it yesterday, about Kara, the great white shark, which they, um, you know, tracked to Lake Coeur d'Alene. And look how big Lake Coeur d'Alene is.
It's massive. [laughs]
It's, like, taking up the entire chunk of northern Idaho like there's no land there.
Who's... This page has 10,000 followers.
I know.
Uh, what are people saying about the shark? Are they at least laughing? Okay, one... Yeah, a couple laugh reacts.
You know, this is weird, th- this page doesn't get a lot of, uh-
Traction, yeah
... interaction. Yeah.
Yeah. Well, I see here, uh, uh, that one picture that you were talking about with Lieutenant Crane on Traffic School Powered by the Advocates, the, uh, the drone that says, "Idaho State Patrol."
Oh, yeah.
And it says, "Your speed 65 miles per hour." And of course, they have this long AI-generated, uh, [laughs] AI-generated caption. "Idaho said you thought the mountains were just scenery? Out here, it's not just the road you're watching, it's everything around you watching back."
[laughs] Oh, God.
You're cruising through those w- wi- winding highways, pine trees on both sides, mountains stacked in the distance, radio low, feeling calm like you've got it handled. Then it shifts. No warning, no slow build, just Idaho being Idaho. Snow starts falling heavier. Road turns slick. Wind cuts through the valley like it's got somewhere to be, and suddenly that peaceful drive turns into, 'Okay, this got serious real quick.'"
[laughs]
They haven't mentioned anything about the drone so far, and I'm halfway through.
[laughs]
You're gripping the wheel w- w- like, "Was it this icy five minutes ago? Why does this curve feel different now? Is that fog, or is the mountain just gone?" Because in Idaho, Victor-
[laughs]
... the mountains don't just sit there. They change the rules.
[laughs] Oh, God.
What drugs is this person on? [laughs]
This page is so cringe. You know, it's ChatGPT drugs. Uh, there's another post here where they're like, "Hey, you can go visit a spot where Idaho, Montana, and Utah all meet up."I guess Wyoming doesn't exist anymore, Peaches, 'cause Montana does not touch Utah. [laughs]
[laughs]
And they've got the picture like there's a, a little thing there, you know-
[laughs]
... a, a post you can go visit, and it's completely incorrect.
Oh my gosh.
What is, what is this, how we speak in Idaho? Okay, let's save that for the next break. Let me find that one.
I, I don't think it really makes any sense.
Okay, I'm, I'm gonna pull it up here and we'll, we'll dig in. [upbeat music]
Wrapping up this noon hour of madness and mayhem. I'm hoping you kept track, listeners, of, uh, how many times we have said Idaho this hour-
[laughs]
... because we're gonna do it even more.
We're going, like, hardcore local, and we're gonna learn how to speak in Idaho according to Life Is Idaho.
You're not from around here, are you?
Yeah. I mean, it took me a minute to figure out what is going on.
I love how that's such a, like, a weird, like... That's such a thing that you need to worry about. My friend Zach was trying to tell me, 'cause, uh, I was saying Mount, Mount Juliet wrong, where he, he now lives in Tennessee.
Mm-hmm.
Mount Juliet, Tennessee. I think I was calling it Mount Juliet or something. I don't know.
Yeah.
Maybe it's vice versa, but he was like, "If you were to say that around here, you, you would get out- outed by the, uh, the locals."
Oh, no.
I'm like, "Oh, no. What, what should I say?" They go, "You're not from around here, are you?" I'm like, "Yeah, I came from your mother's house."
[laughs]
Like, what, what do you want me to say? Like,
and then they start attacking me for no reason.
Well, apparently, Peaches, looking at this list, we have a lot of slang here in Idaho that I was unaware of, you know? How would you say something's very awesome? That's...
That's very awesome.
That's rad.
That's... [laughs]
[laughs] It's radical.
[laughs]
Groovy. Apparently in Idaho we say, "That's huckleberry."
[laughs]
Yeah, I've heard that a million times, Peaches. Everybody says it around here.
The adventures of very awesome... [laughs] The very awesome Finn. [laughs]
A- another phrase that's similar to very awesome would be excellent.
Peaches, that's the spud right there. [laughs]
Start using that around Jade and Josh.
[laughs] I'm gonna... Man, have you seen that movie? That's the spud, dude. It's so good.
Oh, I get to leave early today? That's the spud.
[laughs] Uh, if you're gonna go out and get some barbecue or good food, we're headed to the chuck wagon, Peaches. Yeah. We gonna go on down to chuck wagon, mo' down the barbecue ribs. All right. Chuck wagon. Yeah. Um,
where it's at,
Main Street. [laughs]
I, I, I like the, uh, the other Pocatello is just called Pocatello.
Yeah, it doesn't make any sense whatsoever. You know? It... If you wanna say something's expensive, "Man, that, that's Ketchum." [laughs]
The bottom, that's very cringey by the way.
Man, these gas prices are so Ketchum.
[laughs]
I can't believe it.
[laughs]
It's out of control. The groceries are Ketchum.
The, the, the bottom of this image has such, has such a cringe phrase. "Welcome to Idaho, where we don't have traffic, we have trailers. Where we don't have neighbors, we have community. And where 'How are you?' really means, 'Tell me everything.'"
Uh, yeah, no.
Did you find that sign in grandma's kitchen?
[laughs] Of course, Peaches. Uh, right next to the sign or, you know, the map that shows the Snake River. Did you know it has a nickname?
No. What is it?
Big Judd. I'm gonna head on out to Big Judd and do some fishing. No, that is a re-
I thought-
That is a restaurant
... I thought Big Judd was a chuck wagon.
[laughs] It, it could be a chuck wagon, Peaches. You're right. [laughs]
By the way, you, you, you can say this in a loving way, and you can say this in a very creepy way. You can leave Idaho, but Idaho don't leave you.
[laughs]
You can leave Idaho, but Idaho don't leave you.
Man, this page sucks, dude.
[laughs]
This page sucks so bad. Life Is Idaho. It's named bad-
Fueled by huckleberry and coffee.
[laughs]
[laughs] That's what it says right there on the mug.
Oh, it does.
Oh, there's that other image. Two tagged great white sharks headed towards Idaho waters, Kara and Fin.
Yeah. Yeah, they're coming, Peaches. Sharks from the ocean that is not attached to us. [laughs]
Maybe we should put, like, a remote controlled shark fin right by the, uh, the falls in Idaho Falls and just have it swim around.
Can't you buy those on Amazon?
I'm sure you could and-
Yeah
... all of a sudden become the talk of the town.
Yeah, remote control shark.
Make all those posts in the Life in Idaho Falls group about something else, you know?
Remote control shark fin. Oh, yeah, they, they got 'em, dude. There's a bunch of different ones. That'd be fun. Just head on down to the river. [laughs]
You see all these rednecks just running up with their guns trying to shoot the shark.
[laughs] It probably... They probably would shoot your, uh, remote controlled fin. Probably.
I'm trying to see if there's anything else on this page that is just so s- so beyond stupid.
Well, they had the Idaho earthquake alerts on there. They're like, "There's earthquakes everywhere." [laughs] And I remember seeing that one, like, a week or two ago going, "I don't know. I didn't feel any earthquakes," even though there's one supposedly right here.
Uh-
This page sucks. [laughs]
I see a bunch of different, uh, slogans for, uh, different Idaho towns.
Oh, God.
Have, have you been to Riggins, Idaho?
I have.
It says, "Hang on tight."
Okay.
Shows a fish.
Yeah. I mean, I guess you go boating down.
Uh-
Hales Canyon.
Yeah. Yeah, that says, uh, "Hex Canyon, Idaho. It's not hot, it's iconic."
[sighs] Yeah. I'm sure that's their slogan. What's Idaho Falls' slogan? [laughs]
That's not on this list here.
No.
Uh, they're, they're highlighting the very small towns-
Oh
... like Victor, Idaho, a winner by name.
Is that really its slogan? [laughs]
Ketchum, Idaho-
That's my new slogan
... because skiing and art.
This makes me wanna puke, Peaches.
Is it, is it Moscow or how do you say it properly?
Moscow.
So that way when I sh- when I say that name to somebody, they don't go, "You're not from around here, are you, buddy?"
Yeah. Moscow.
Uh, Moscow, Idaho, not that Moscow, is what it says right there.
[sighs] This is... It hurts, Peaches.
Paradise, Idaho, no reservations needed.
Where the, where the heck is that?
I don't know.
[laughs] Idaho-
I decided to ask ChatGPT also super honest slogans about Idaho that every Idahoan can relate to.
Okay. Ugh.
You ready for this?
No.
Come for the mountains, stay because your truck broke down in Dubois.
[laughs]
90% beautiful scenery, 10% road construction. [laughs]
[laughs] Okay.
Yeah.
Now we're getting somewhere.
Um, beautiful mountains, absolutely nothing between them. [laughs]
[laughs] All right. These, these are accurate. These-
There's, there's nothing to do here, every teenager since 1890.
[laughs] Yes.
Again, accurate.
Where the nearest concert is emotionally in another state.
It can be very true. We all know this.
Idaho Falls traffic, three lifted trucks and a Subaru at one stoplight.
Uh-
Uh, make it 30.
Yeah, no. We're gonna go with a little bit more traffic than that, ChatGPT.
If your truck doesn't have a Punisher sticker, are you even local?
[laughs] Oh.
[laughs]
Oh, God. [upbeat music] The Noon Hour of Madness and Mayhem is a production of Riverbend Media Group. For more information or to contact the show, visit riverbendmediagroup.com. [upbeat music]