[upbeat music] The noon hour of Madness and Mayhem, the podcast
Welcome to the noon hour of Madness and Mayhem. What up, Peaches?
I can tell the Manjaro is working because I had one Smucker's Uncrustable this morning-
And that was it
... with a mushroom elixir thing. You know, those things are like 20 calories. It's like kombucha.
Boy, you're, you're really turning into a California hipster, ain't you? I got my mushroom elixir. I've got my... What did you say you ate? [laughs]
Just a Smucker's Uncrustable.
Okay, never mind, that's kids food.
[laughs]
[laughs] It's not like I'm-
It's quite the meal
... eating like a broccoli pizza with cauliflower crust and-
Not yet
... vegan feta cheese.
Oh, dude, I ate like a pig last night.
Good for you.
It was great. Went to, uh... W- well, I'm not gonna say their name 'cause no free plugs.
Went to redacted.
Yes. But it's, uh, one of the most expensive restaurants in town. Uh.
[laughs] You high roller, you.
It was certainly the most expensive meal I've ever bought 'cause we got, uh, king crab legs,
brisket, mac and cheese, some kinda potato stuff.
What were you doing? Like, one of those videos, like, "This is my last meal"?
Uh, well, that's what I kinda told Becca yesterday. I was like, "What if I get hit by a bus tomorrow? We might as well-
It'll just bounce off
... go have [laughs]
go have something fancy." What was the other food item that came with it, though? Now it's driving me crazy.
Crab.
Truffle.
Potato stuff.
[laughs]
Victor's memory-
The mac and cheese
... is going. Can't even r- can't even remember-
Maybe that was it
... dinner last night.
Maybe that was it. Maybe that was it.
Oh, okay.
But, uh-
I had Thai food. I had pad Thai.
That sounds good. That sounds good. You know, we almost went and had some, uh, Mongolian food, but, uh, we were like, "No,
let's go spend way too much money." [laughs]
There goes Jade coming around the corner again. He sees us doing something and then runs right back.
That's right, you get... So yeah, that was good. And I know you said you had something for this break, but we can save it till later. I just wanna encourage people to, uh, you know, just blow all your money. You know, who cares? [laughs]
I mean, you could win money with the K-Bear 101 Secret Sound-
That's right
... powered by The Advocates. And then also, uh, tomorrow Victor is gonna be at a car wash for two hours, and our GM, uh, Kevin, came up with the amazing idea of you staying warm by going into everybody's car before they go into the car wash.
Yeah.
And if they allow you to go in your car-
Yeah
... that's how you have them sign up because they'll fill out the entry form right there in the car.
While you're going through the car wash.
While you're going through... So you could buy the Pony Express car wash membership for just 10 bucks a month, great deal for the first three months, and then you have Victor in your passenger seat or maybe even in the back seat if you don't want him close to you.
Yeah. I don't care where as long as I'm in a vehicle and it's warm because it's... I assume tomorrow's gonna suck, too.
Tomorrow's weather is the absolute worst of the week.
Ugh.
Are you ready for this, Victor?
Peaches, let me-
The high is 45.
The high?
The low is 24.
It's gonna be so cold.
I hope you're ready, dude.
Yeah. So listeners, I am going to need to jump in your vehicle to stay warm at the car wash. [laughs]
It says we're getting snow at 5:00 PM tonight.
Are you kidding me?
And it goes till... Well, it says about 15%.
Okay.
But
it's still looking very cold, so. [laughs]
Ugh. Bring on Vegas-
Oh, yeah
... [laughs] where it's gonna be nice and hot.
You know what? There, there was a, there was an article that I saw that was posted from East Idaho News saying this winter was the worst winter ever, and I so badly wanted to comment, "*best winter ever."
Yeah, I would.
There was hardly any snow. It was great. Uh, uh, we were the anti-snow people over here.
Yeah, yeah.
Savannah from the AM station, 1260, she's like, "Snow is essential," and I'm like, "Screw that."
Why don't you get-
Why don't you go to the Arctic and just [laughs] just live there? Yeah.
Yeah, like, we get it. You know, farmers need water, but sorry, Victor Wilt don't need snow. [laughs]
Go to North Dakota.
Who cares about the environment?
That's right.
Down with the environment, [laughs] that's what I say.
Seasons, come on.
I hate the environment.
We're white. We don't need seasons.
[laughs] Yeah, absolutely. All right. Well, anyway, yeah, broadcasting live 11:00 AM to 1:00 PM at the new Pony Express Car Wash tomorrow. Uh, it's the one right by the, the Fred Meyer in Idaho Falls, North Gate Mile. Real easy to spot. Look for car wash. You know?
Look for car wash.
Look for car wash. [upbeat music] This is the noon hour of Madness and Mayhem. 'Sup, Peaches?
So my show today is prerecorded because we're doing things, uh, this evening-
Mm-hmm
... that involve all of our attention. Everyone on staff needs to be here-
Mm-hmm
... after hours.
Yep.
So I prerecorded the entire, uh, afternoon show this morning, and I was trying to find a question just to talk about during the 4:00 PM hour, 'cause that's usually when I do, uh, To Peach Their Own.
Yeah.
I saw this question get posted in Ask Reddit, Victor, and I wanted to-
[laughs]
... personally ask you this one.
[laughs] Well, okay, I can't wait.
Your spouse comes to you and says, "Hey, I wanna post faceless, ID-less nudes on Reddit for fun." What's your reaction? [laughs]
[laughs] My answer for that one would be no. If you're gonna post faceless, ID-less nudes, you gotta post them somewhere where you're gonna make money, not Reddit. There are other websites-
You, you could make money on Reddit, I think.
I don't know, I don't know if you could make money on Reddit. Maybe if you, you know, put your, uh, your Venmo account in there or something, but
I've never made any money on Reddit. I don't know.
I make money on Facebook without showing off my nude body.
[laughs] Maybe you should give it a try, Peaches-
Yeah
... and see, see how much more money you make. [laughs]
Can't wait for Jade and Kevin to see just a peach logo on some, uh, on an area.
Oh, we could take pictures of our terrible feet and post them on Facebook. [laughs]
I did, I did see that article yesterday about how these Uber Eats drivers are showing off their feet, um, to-
Uber Feets?
Yeah, Uber Feets drivers-
[laughs]
... are showing off their feet to earn a bigger tip because you have these dudes that buy food and go, "Ooh, pretty feet. Here's a $60..."
Wow.
Yeah. [laughs] So it's, it's like I wonder where these people get these, uh, get this money from.Just to give away money like that
I don't... Well, I've read about people online that their, like, thing they're into that gets them excited is just giving people money. Like, and a lot of times with nothing in return. Just take some money. Why can't I meet these people? All right, my Venmo is super easy to figure out, everybody.
[laughs]
If you are, like, really into just giving out money, if you're like, "Oh, I can't wait to give somebody some money."
What if they gave someone, like, a game show host job and he was just, like, so thrilled to give people money?
[laughs]
And started, like, touching himself, like-
[laughs]
"We're giving away a million dollars."
[laughs]
Oh! Yeah, seriously, people, um, I saw some Facebook profiles where people had their Venmo account right on their page. I was like, "Maybe I should do that." What if I get a good Samaritan who's just like, "Hey, dude, here's some dough."
No, next time you just drive to, like, Salt Lake City or Boise, just put, like, "Just married. Venmo at..."
[laughs]
Put, put Becca's Venmo so that way people go, "Oh, okay," you know? "Let's-
That's a good idea
... let's send them a nice little, uh, wedding present."
Well, it's like when you go out to eat and they're like, "Is it a special occasion?" And you're like, "Su- sure. It's my anniversary."
Tried that one last night. Didn't make any difference on the, uh [laughs] on the bill.
Oh, that... We gotta say something sad, like, "Any- anything... Celebrating anything special tonight?"
Oh, I should've said-
"We just had to, uh, shoot our dog."
I should've said, "Yesterday, it's my mom's birthday. She's dead." [laughs]
And start crying.
And then get upset. And maybe I would've got something out of it.
Yeah, they would've, like, thrown in maybe, like, a nice cheesecake or something.
Yeah, you know, just some kinda dessert, a cookie. I don't know. [laughs] Just anything. Come on.
Here's a nice mint from the counter.
We hook up so much free stuff for people, Peaches. I think it's time people start returning the favor. [laughs]
Hey, I mean, you got that guitar from The Advocates.
Okay, I guess I shouldn't say anything. The Advocates did hook me up with a really nice guitar. [laughs]
I haven't gotten anything. You, you've gotten the guitar.
[laughs]
'Cause Ben said you and him are friends.
Well, Ben considers you a friend. I... The same night that I called you the other night and told you good night, I did call Ben and tell him good night too.
Well, I, I know that because Becca uploaded it on her Snapchat.
Oh, yes.
The same way... Like, she's, uh... What's it called? I was kind of concerned, 'cause I asked this question, and then all of a sudden... Like, I love how Becca's name on Snapchat is just Me.
Mm-hmm.
So it says, "Me sent me nine snaps."
Mm-hmm.
And I, I was asleep when she sent them, so I woke up and she's in the hot tub with Millie, uh, the, the dog.
Yeah.
And I'm like-
Well, 'cause I get those notifications. If you post to your story, it acts like, you know, "Hey, this person sent you these snaps." So I got those too.
And I was worried 'cause, like, all of a sudden, like, it's, she's, like, showing off her, like, legs and feet in the video.
[laughs]
And I'm like, "I don't wanna stare at this. This is, this feels wrong."
Well, and she's like-
Just skipping over
... "I'm trying to get ready to get naked in the hot tub." [laughs]
[laughs]
And I'm like, "Where, where are you going with these videos, okay?"
But, but you know what? You're like, "Hey, you know, you might as well just post these faceless, ID-less nudes on Reddit-
No, it's gotta be-
... see if she can make money for the house, Victor."
It's gotta be a different website where we actually make money.
All of a sudden, Victor just comes to work with a Gucci wallet.
[laughs]
Full of 100s.
[laughs]
He has solid gold teeth.
Thanks, feet.
[laughs]
[upbeat music] Peaches just told me that it was snowing in Poky. I don't like the sound of that. I, I'm not a fan. Winter's over. It's April. You know, we thought about buying flowers.
But where's the snow? Oh.
Ugh. Well, it's apparently in Pocatello, probably coming our way. Uh, yeah, we were gonna buy some flowers recently and I was like, "Nah, you don't buy flowers in Idaho till, like, the end of May."
I was getting very frustrated with Aubrey about the same thing, 'cause I bought these, uh, seeds from Grocery Outlet.
Mm.
And I was like, "I wanna plant them." She's like, "No, no, wait till next week." And I'm like, "I'm impatient. I wanna plant them now."
[laughs] I wanna grow now.
And, and then she's like, "No, let's, let's just wait." I'm like, "Okay, fine."
[laughs]
"But I'm mad about it."
Becca bought a bunch of packets of flowers too. I'm like, "Well, have at it," but...
But then the, the, that's before, that was the, the weekend before all that wind came through the area.
Mm-hmm.
And she's like, "See what I did, see what I mean? Look, look, it's, they would've knocked over."
Oh, yeah.
And, and then, then I was like, "Okay, it's April now. Can we plant them?" She's like, "No, no, my coworker, who's a gardening expert or gardens all the time, says, uh, at least wait until May." I'm like, "I'm just gonna throw them away."
[laughs] Throw them in the garbage.
I don't wanna wait anymore. [laughs]
I don't wanna grow these flowers anyway.
[laughs]
Flowers suck. Yeah, uh, you might wanna cover your plants, everybody, because, uh, it's gonna be brisk the next couple nights.
Not the iced tea. [laughs]
[laughs]
I feel so bad-
Yeah
... for making that joke.
[laughs] You shouldn't, Peaches, that's top quality radio. [laughs] That's big market radio humor right there. You can get yourself a job in LA, dude, just-
Maybe we should talk about horoscopes.
Oh, maybe we should for the next break. [laughs]
Oh, we better not.
How miserable is your life going to be? We should start a horoscope website that's just all misery all the time.
That's all fake?
Well, they are all all fake. [laughs]
Well, we make ours even worse.
Yeah, we just, then we make them bad.
You will get robbed.
Yeah, we make them bad.
[laughs]
Like, terrible things are gonna happen to you. Um-
If you're a Pisces, somebody's gonna shoot your dog.
It's, it's always a downer. It's always really sad and depressing.
I've brought that up twice on this show.
To, uh, yeah, Peter, what's, uh, have, have you been watching too much South Park or something?
Uh, yeah. [laughs]
There's an episode of South Park where, uh, a certain someone just repeatedly is shooting dogs in the show.
[laughs]
It's a newer episode. And it's, it, it's funny and disturbing at the same time.
I've been watching South Park, uh, supercuts on YouTube for-
Mm-hmm
... canary imaging, [laughs] and I love the, uh, the, the scene where they d- they dress up as Gordon Ramsay.
[laughs]
And then Randy Marsh comes in and he goes, "Oh, no, Gordon Ramsay," and he runs out the room. [laughs]
[laughs]
Or they, they have the, the teacher and they bring in the teacher's assistant.Mr. Slave
Oh, yes
And he's like, "That's it. Time for punishment," and walks open.
[laughs]
[laughs]
I did post that poll in the KBEAR group, South Park or Family Guy, and South Park won by a landslide.
Landslide, huh?
It was like 70 to 30.
Okay. I mean, I went and voted for South Park, 'cause, you know ... I mean, you would've guessed, I would assume, that that's how I would vote. But, uh, South Park was ahead at the time.
Oh, yes.
You know?
It took, took off. I'm shocked.
Dude, if you haven't checked out the full latest season of South Park, it's probably the best one in at least a d- a decade. It's so unhinged. It's insane. And they wrapped it up great. The final episode of the season was top-notch.
I can't wait for them to, uh, do some satire on what's been happening recently involving doctors.
[laughs]
I so badly wanted to make a post about it, but I, I didn't wanna have this mass amount of people unfollowing me 'cause Peaches is getting political. It's like, no, I'm, I'm neither side.
No, you're just taking part in what people are currently meme-ing. I've seen a million different memes in the last few days. [laughs]
Oh, it's been hilarious.
Yeah.
I was gonna post a picture of Kenny Loggins saying, "This is my favorite doctor." [laughs]
[laughs]
Or Obi-Wan Kenobi.
But people get too sensitive. You know? Somebody ... You would get unfollowed or yelled at or something like ... 'Cause I, I found a few good ones too and was like, "This is really funny." But-
Oh, there's a guy, by the way, that, uh ... He lives in ... Is it Wendell or Wentell? How ... Is it ... What?
I, I think that would be Wendell.
Yeah. Wendell, Idaho. This guy, uh ... So y- I commented on that post a picture of you with the, "I did that," pointing to a rainbow.
Yeah.
And this old man, uh, he must have like gotten mad at me in a previous, in another Facebook post, 'cause, uh, he proceeded to comment on my comment saying, "You should pack up your bags and leave Idaho," kind of thing.
Geez.
But he said it, he said it in such a poor way. I said, "Get off of Facebook, old man," or something like that back to him.
Wow.
And so now I think he, he's just all upset with me and he's trying his best to come after me, all the- all these different posts.
Well, and who knows? People could just be talking crap about you. Yesterday a listener sent me a screenshot of a post from, uh, Life In Idaho Falls, the one that I'm still a member of, and it was somebody talking about, uh, like a dog that had been abused at a store, so somebody took it and, you know, they were hanging onto it and wondering, you know, can they adopt this dog. And some guy commented, "Is this fake like Victor Wilt in KBEAR said it was?" And I was like, I've never seen this post in my life.
[laughs]
I didn't say anything about this. And so I tried to find the post to comment, and I couldn't find it.
Oh.
But I'm like, no, I'm not gonna-
People are stupid
... I'm like, I'm not just gonna assume that some local person's post is fake. Okay?
You know, the, the posts that I'm talking about when I talk about fake posts, they should be obvious that they're fake, but, you know, th- th- they're, they're not that kind of thing. It's like I wasn't there. How would I know? And no, I didn't say that, and of course they didn't tag me, so I didn't see the comment.
And they probably co- spelt your name incorrectly and put like Victor with a C.
Uh, I can't remember, but I, I bet lots of people talk crap about us on social media and we just don't see it, so stop that, people.
[laughs] I was about to make a joke saying, "Hey, if you see a picture of a dead dog, just say Peaches from KBEAR shot it." [laughs]
[laughs] Oh, geez, Peaches.
In the comment section. [laughs]
Peaches is unhinged today. [instrumental music playing] Well, Peaches, since you seem to be so obsessed with dead things today on the program, [laughs] did you see that the, uh, corpse flower has bloomed again in Mount Holyoke? Have you heard about a corpse flower before?
Yeah. Back when, uh, Phyllis was here. She made it a big deal. She freaked out, remember?
Oh, that's right.
There was-
She was very excited to see it bloom.
Yeah. There was one here. I forgot where it was at. But it-
Was it here in town?
It was in town, yeah. She went, she went to there.
She went ... [sniffs] Oh, it does, does smell like dead bodies.
Yeah. [laughs]
I, I mean,
I just don't know if I would need to go experience that. You know? Have you ever smelled something that's, you know, dead, like in a dumpster or something? And-
Thankfully I haven't really smelt anything dead at all.
What?
I've smelt like number two.
Okay.
But-
I just figured you coming from LA maybe, you know?
Oh, that's number two. [laughs]
[laughs] Oh, okay. [laughs]
That and also just, you know, that skunk smell from a particular thing where you [sniffs] you know?
Ah. Yeah, yeah. No, this is-
What is Josh doing now?
I don't know. Those guys need to get-
Oh, whoa. [laughs]
Whoa, buddy. Go smell a corpse flower.
[laughs] Yeah.
[laughs]
Is Jade giving us a, a nice signal? [laughs]
[laughs] Yeah. This one guy said, "I was expecting it to smell bad, but it genuinely smelled like rotting flesh." And how many people have smelled actual rotting flesh, you know?
It could be a serial killer commenting that. Who knows?
It could be. It, it's probably something growing at a serial killer's house to cover up the smell of what's under the floorboards.
Wasn't there a, uh ... Wasn't there the guitarist of Cannibal Corpse, didn't he have like the bodies in his basement or something like that?
Oh.
And there was songs written called I Got Bodies in My Basement?
I don't know. Let's, let's see.
Song about bodies in basement arrest. I don't remember that was Cannibal Corpse, but let's see here.
I mean, there are certainly songs, um, about bodies in the basement. But,
uh, I don't see any, any articles about people being arrested. This guy s- on Reddit said, "The cops just caught me with a bunch of dead bodies. What Eminem lyric should I use in court?"
So here it is right-
I'm guessing that's a meme.
No, right here. More than 80 firearms and three skulls found in Cannibal Corpse guitarist's home.
Jade, what are you doing? What are you wearing? Jade just stopped in here.
[laughs]
He's got some kind of a girdle on.
[laughs]
Um, as well as a, a pouch designed to carry I don't know. Is that like for a, a firearm or a canteen? Uh, hold on. Let me get you guys microphones here.Okay.
These were in the Cannibal Studio where Peaches sits most of the time. So I'm assuming this is some kinky s- Peaches gear?
Peaches-
She caught me
... look what with your stuff, dude. Your-
Peaches pit party. [laughs]
[laughs]
You know, that's the- the name of the show just gives it away. [laughs]
We were just talking about bo- you know, bodies in the basement. And that looks kinda like, [singing] "It puts the lotion on its skin."
[laughs] Oh, the skin. Or it gets the hose again.
[laughs]
[laughs] And that's the lotion holder, that pouch.
That's a lot of lotion.
Well, yeah, you need a lot of lotion to cover a whole body. [laughs]
[laughs]
Like, top to bottom.
[laughs]
[laughs]
I really don't know what those are.
The Chamber 101 secret sound.
[laughs]
This has been in the Ca- Cannibal Studio for so long. I'm like, "What is in this?"
Ah. And, uh, so that's what was in it?
Yeah [laughs], it was just like that.
It was like that, and it had that leather girdle inside.
Yeah. [laughs] The, the Peaches, uh-
Like, like a belly corset.
Yeah.
And ... Okay. Basically two people-
The Peaches peach holder.
[laughs] The what?
Okay. I was gonna say maybe three people have worked in that studio for a con- you know, a decent amount of time. That would be you, Jade, um-
It wasn't in there when I worked in there
... Justin, and I don't ... Both Justin and Peaches. Peaches, try to wrap that girdle around yourself.
There's no way.
I don't think it'll-
It's kinda stretchy.
I, I wanna see if it fits 'cause it, it doesn't look that big.
Feels like it might be something you brought from LA.
Uh, like, it's-
I like you put it on-
Backwards?
... the right way.
Oh.
No. Other-
Yeah. There's no way.
[laughs]
[laughs]
Let's, let's try it out.
[laughs]
Let's try it out. Stretch it, Jade.
Sock it in.
Pull it tight around him.
I'm trying. [laughs]
Wrap him up snug.
[laughs]
[laughs] Dude, you try to put that thing on. It fit around Jade so ... Oh, of course, yeah. It fit around Jade. Of course.
Well, yeah. It fit around Jade.
No, I'm not fat.
Yeah. [laughs]
I don't, I don't think it'll fit around me
either.
Let, let ... [laughs]
Oh, my back hurts.
Oh, I ... It's like a weightlifting belt.
Oh, oh, oh.
Look at you. Yay.
[laughs]
Buckle it up.
It'll help your-
Buckle it up?
Yeah. Buckle up. It'll help your-
It does kinda help my back.
[laughs]
Good amount of support.
Now you can go lift stuff.
Oh, lift. [laughs] I don't wanna lift. That's like walking.
He lifts his weight every day.
[laughs]
[laughs]
[laughs]
[upbeat music] The noon hour of Madness and Mayhem is a production of Riverbend Media Group. For more information or to contact the show, visit riverbendmediagroup.com.
[upbeat music]