[upbeat music] The noon hour of Madness and Mayhem, the podcast.
Obviously, we had to start the hour with something nice and heavy to get us woken up, Victor.
Yeah. What was it? I wasn't paying attention.
Whitechapel, Hymns in Dissonance.
Excellent. Can you turn my headphones up, Peaches? Yeah, I can't hear anything. Are you sure we're actually ... Okay, now I can barely hear myself. Uh, there we go. Okay. Now I'm confident that we are recording.
Cool. [laughs]
[laughs] I gotta be able to hear myself.
Uh, I spent most of yesterday playing this very fun game that I, I think you should also get. It's only $5.
What is it?
Hamster Hunter.
Hamster Hunter?
Yeah, you just kill hamsters.
Yeah.
It's all you do.
Oh, but I like the little hamster.
You just destroy them.
[laughs] Is it, like, cartoony?
Uh, it's very cheap. It's ... Some guy made it as a meme, I think.
Okay.
And, uh, well, you basically walk into your house, which it looks like a cardboard box, and you find out your family's missing. You then go to these tunnels. You find out this thing called the Hamster Man just murdered, you know, your, your entire family. And the, the ... Like, they're, they're right there, like, head chopped off with the guillotine.
Jeez.
All that. So then you basically take revenge. You get the tranquilizer gun. You start shooting hamsters. They're all knocked out. You then put them through a meat grinder. [laughs] And then-
Wow
... and then you s- and then you sell their meat on the black market.
[laughs]
And then you start to buy contraptions and all this stuff. By the time, like, you're a good portion into the game, you're making hamster burgers that you're, you're then selling-
Wow
... on the black market itself.
That does-
Yeah.
That does sound fun.
Yeah, yeah. Well, a b- bunch of other stuff I can't say on the air, but it's-
Oh
... it's pretty graphic. But it's all cartoony, so it's passable, you know?
All right. Yeah. I, uh, intended to play video games this weekend, and I just did not get around to it.
You just gotta tell everyone in your house, "Shut up and leave me alone."
Well, like, b- by the time it was like, okay, everyone's getting ready to go to sleep. Maybe I'll play some ga- [snores] And then I'm just out cold. So I'll get around to Resident Evil one of these days.
Eventually.
You know?
Yeah. Maybe before GTA VI comes out.
[laughs] Maybe. Maybe. We'll see. [upbeat music]
It's the noon hour of Madness and Mayhem. I am Peaches.
I'm Victor.
Maynard James Keenan was just on the latest episode of What's in My Bag-
Oh, yeah
... that they do at Amoeba Records.
Okay.
And I, I like that record store, but I hate that series, only because they choose the most eclectic people to then choose even worse, like, music choices.
[laughs] Oh, yeah. Dude.
Like, they had Fred Armisen on. Oh, I love these old-school underground punk records. Like, who cares?
[laughs]
Bill Hader, same thing.
Yeah, I, I saw the Bill Hader one pop up and almost watched it, but I, I don't know. I'm not a fan of that series either.
Tony Hawk was also on there, but he highlighted ... I mean, he's naturally into that underground punk stuff because of-
Yeah
... you know, that's, that's his soundtrack.
Yeah, I'm sure Maynard's was what? Like, a bunch of weird-
Oh, I have a list here
... new wave stuff. Oh, you have the list.
Yeah. The Ahmad Jamal Trio.
What the heck is that? [laughs]
Uh, Joni Mitchell and the LA Express.
Okay.
Uh, a Swans record called-
Yeah
... Birthing.
I'm not surprised. I know he really likes Swans.
Uh, Sonic Youth, Goo.
Okay.
He got a Devo album.
Oh.
New Traditionalists.
I know Maynard loves them too.
He loves Devo out of all bands?
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
That's funny.
Huge fan. Huge fan.
[laughs]
Devo.
The Pretenders.
Okay. All right. Interesting.
And then some punk, like Minor Threat and Black Flag.
Okay. Yeah.
He also got some X, which I don't know what the ... if that's ... what, what genre that is.
Yeah, I don't know either. Hmm.
Uh, he also got ... This is my personal favorite on this entire list. NWA, Straight Outta Compton.
[laughs] Heck yeah.
[laughs]
Now, that's a classic.
I'm just imagining Maynard blasting Screw the Police.
[laughs] He's driving around in his pickup truck in the desert-
Yeah, in the middle-
... just bumping that.
[laughs] Middle of nowhere, Arizona-
[laughs] That's awesome
... on his winery.
[laughs] That rules.
Just singing along.
[laughs]
He also bought his own record, Puscifer V is for Ven- uh, Versatile.
[laughs] Well, yeah. Yeah. Gotta get the, uh, the plug in there. And, uh, I did finally listen to the new Puscifer album last week while I was working on the, the K Bear music project, and, uh, it's good. It's really good. I like it. I'm excited to see them live.
Uh, and then Pee-wee Herman coffee mug.
I didn't even know Pee-wee Herman made an album. Is it a comedy album?
I don't know. I don't know.
Huh.
I ... Pee-wee Herman's before my time. When he died, I didn't care at all-
Ah
... to be quite honest with you.
Yeah. Well-
'Cause I was just like, another legend lost, I guess. [laughs]
Yeah. When I was growing up, Pee-wee was a, a big deal. You know, he had the, the TV show, Pee-wee's Playhouse. It was weird, dude. There used to be a lot of weird shows when I was young. You know, Ren & Stimpy. Shows were just different back then. I don't know.
I know somebody was try- I think it was ... Yeah, it was Aubrey's mom that was trying to say The Backyardigans was the superior children's show. I'm like, "You're out of your mind."
[groans] Uh, no.
Obviously, Blue's Clues, Barney, Teletubbies-
[laughs]
... The Wiggles.
[laughs] Okay.
Those are my big four.
Oh, geez.
[laughs]
Yikes. [upbeat music]
You know, Victor, if I was in charge, I would do something like this. Maybe.
Yeah? What?
Uh, Uber employees, they have this AI clone of the CEO of Uber.
I saw an article about this, but I, I didn't read it.
And they have to use that AI version of the CEO before they talk to the actual guy himself-
[laughs]
... to see if his question ... or see if their question is, uh, relevant for him.
Okay. Yeah, we need that around here. I, I could-
Yeah
... use a clone of me. AI clone.
I, I, I'm kind of wondering, maybe I should, uh, uh, turn on the ... What's the, the AI assistant that answers when, like ... when you don't answer the phone.
Yeah.
And the AI assistant goes, "Why are you calling this person?"
[laughs] Oh, yeah. I forget you can do that.
Maybe I should.
Maybe you should.
But then I think I would confuse my old Uncle Sonny.
Yeah, some people might not get it, think they called the wrong number, or that it's a scam or something like that.
I, I still keep g- getting those spam calls.
Oh, me too. All the time.
It's even worse now.
They're relentless, dude. I'm always getting offered big fat loans.
See, I keep getting asked for, like, Janet Martinez or-The one lady that made fun of me and then I said, "I will find you," then I hung up
Has she called you back?
I, I just, I think it's the same type of thing.
[laughs]
It's always the worst whenever somebody calls you and then just doesn't say anything.
Oh, yeah. Then y- then you know. You know, you sit there-
And then you hear that boop.
Mm-hmm, and they're like, "Hello. This is so-and-so calling about your, uh, loan application." It's like, I didn't fill out a loan application. You're a liar.
[laughs]
Don't lie to me. I will find you.
It's kind of like when you, uh, fill, y- you already filled out a form for something, and then you start getting the spam calls. Like they just-
Yeah
... leaked your phone number to-
Oh, yeah
... some type of list.
Oh, I, I ... Dude, the modern-day irritating phone scams and, uh, y- I don't know if you get them in the mail, too. I get a lot of stuff in the mail. "Call about your mortgage. We got important information about your mortgage."
No, I keep getting, uh, just mail for other people that used to live in my apartment.
God, you've been there years.
Been there for now, for five.
I guess every once in a while I'll get mail for people who lived there before me, and I've lived there, like, 12 years.
Uh, some lady keeps getting, like, wine monthly magazines.
[laughs]
And I, and I, I give those-
Ooh, get some wine
... I, I give those to Aubrey so she can cut out certain parts and put it in her scrapbook and-
[laughs] Aubrey
... she has fun with arts and crafts with that whole thing.
[laughs]
What were we gonna go to? I completely forgot what I was gonna talk about here. Nice.
Uh, you were talking about the AI assistant.
No, but I lost my train of thought. It was gonna be something funny.
Um.
It, it was gonna be like, uh-
Hmm
... hmm.
Like, uh, cloning yourself, cloning Jade.
No. No.
You know, that we definitely-
Oh, speaking of clones, that do- that does remind me. There was a video that popped up of, uh, Jim Carrey ripping off The Mask-
I saw that
... and it was him the entire time.
Yeah.
But we don't know if that's real or not.
I think that was AI.
Has to be.
I think Jim Carrey just, people hadn't seen him in a while or something and-
He just doesn't care, I don't think.
No.
He's conquered Hollywood. He, he had a legendary run-
Oh, yeah
... back in, like, 1994.
Yeah.
What year was it-
Late '90s
... that he had, like, three movies in a row?
Dude, he, he, he used to be, uh, in every movie. He was huge. And those movies are good. They're good.
B- J- 1994, yeah, widely considered to be the best and most defining year of Jim Carrey's career. In that year, he became the first actor to have three films reach number one at the box office in the same calendar year. You had Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, The Mask, and then Dumb and Dumber.
Wow, all of those came out in the same year.
Same year.
Wow.
That shows you how great movies were back then compared to now.
[laughs] No kidding. Now they take 20 years to make a movie. Comes out, sucks.
And sometimes, I mean, even, like, the artsy-fartsy ones, nobody really cares for.
Yeah. Uh, you gotta be a certain type of person to be into that.
I mean, not nobody, but yet, like, the, the film nerds that I went to school with.
Yeah.
The ones that say, like, "Oh, you gotta watch this, like, slow burn indie film that was made in Paraguay."
[laughs] I like that kind of stuff, but-
It's, it's horrible
... it's not for everybody.
It's like listening to, uh, Pink Floyd. It's like [laughs]
[laughs] That's ... Exactly.
When you have just-
I like that, too
... when you have hours upon hours of instrumentals, and then it-
[laughs]
... then it gets interrupted by some type of lyrics, and you're like, "Okay, yeah."
Yeah. [laughs] I love that stuff.
"This is fun music."
That's great. I watched, uh, one movie this weekend. I watched Joe Dirt. [laughs] So nice, you know, high-quality, uh, slow burn indie artsy film, Joe Dirt.
You gotta watch Prisoners.
I, I do need to watch Prisoners.
And watch it with Becca and specifically her kid as well.
And w- with her child.
Because the kids go missing in that movie.
[laughs]
And it might scare her to not leave the house.
Oh, you know what? I did watch some other movies. I watched, uh, Insidious 1 and 2, and those were, uh, pretty good. They're, you know, not too bad for ... I think they're PG-13.
Okay, you say you have all this time. You, you, you're doing all these chores around the house. You're so busy, but then you tell me that you watch all these movies in a weekend. [laughs]
Well, you gotta do something late at night. Watch a movie.
No, play a game.
Yeah, but that's-
Sacrifice the movie time.
I know, but then, uh, uh, nobody else wants to watch me play video games.
Well, there was a time ... Well, there, there's other TVs in the house, right?
That's true. I have a TV in every room. [laughs]
Yeah, tell them like, "Hey-
"Use it."
... there's a TV elsewhere. This is my house."
"Use it." [laughs]
"You moved in." [laughs]
[laughs]
What, what, what are you talking about?
[laughs]
[upbeat jazz music] You know, there's a lot of shenanigans that go on around here, but I don't think there's enough.
I agree.
I feel like there needs to be full-on chaos behind the scenes.
[laughs] Full-on chaos.
Well, like what happened with, uh, The Howard Stern Show. They were always doing something.
Yeah.
Always messing with, uh, other radio stations. I think at one point, they, uh, they, uh, just started this new, uh, Playboy channel on SiriusXM.
Okay.
And Richard Christie ran through that party butt naked.
[laughs]
He just streaked right through.
Now, I would imagine if one of us did that in this building-
Well, obviously, we're not, I'm not saying-
Yeah
... do that 'cause no- nobody-
[laughs]
... wants to see any of us naked, all right?
[laughs] No.
But I, I saw this post, and it made me think how much, uh, uh, how much chaos would ensue from this. Uh, this lady said, "I put in my two weeks' notice at my toxic job, and I've been putting help yourself Post-it notes on other people's food in the break room fridge."
[laughs]
"It's causing an unbelievable amount of drama."
[laughs]
A- and there's been plenty of, uh, blame on certain things. Like, Katie, I think, blamed me. I, I heard from one of our listeners that was listening to, uh, Z103 at work-
Mm-hmm
... because they were forced to kind of thing. [laughs]
[laughs]
Even though they wanna listen to K-Bear-
Yeah
... they were forced to listen to Z. And I guess Katie blamed me for, um, eating some of her cookies or something like that.
Oh.
And I'm like, "Well, I wouldn't touch your food with a 10-foot pole, all right?" [laughs]
Yeah. Well, the problem is-
I, I, I don't want any drama around here
... sometimes you'll open up that fridge, and it looks like, you know, a local business has donated a bunch of treats or something. Like, there was some kind of, I don't know what those were, fruit cups or something. You see those in there the other day?
I, I, I say I don't want any drama, but I want to observe the drama happening with other people.
Ah.
I don't wanna be a part of it.
Gotcha.
Yeah, I almost contradicted myself there.
[laughs]
But the fruit cups, um, those were all Katie's, I thought.
I assumed, but it-
It-
It was one of those things where it looked like, oh, hey, somebody donated a bunch or dropped off a bunch of treats. Maybe I missed the email about this 'cause it was a big container-
But then-
... with only a few things left
... you would check your email.
That's ... Exactly.
You wouldn't just dive right in.
No.
Right.
No, unless it's, like, sitting on the counter. Usually, that's a open, you know-
Okay
... open invitation.
Nothing ma- makes me more irritated around here than when there's a box of donuts, there's still a couple left, and I don't know who's doing the cleanup at night. They just toss them.
Yeah, 'cause they'd be fine the next day.
I wanna come in the next morning and eat those. And also, if I ... I'm glad we don't have that one person that would eat, like, a third of a donut and put the rest in the box.
Oh, yeah, whoever was doing that for a while.
That was the stupidest thing on the planet.
Yeah, 'cause nobody wants a part of a donut.
Right. Nobody says, "Oh, I crave three-fourths of this maple bar."
[laughs] That's right.
N- no. I- I- just if you're on a diet, don't, don't eat a donut from the, the company box.
Yeah, just have no treats. No treats for you.
And nobody cares if you're on a diet either. Don't go sharing it around with everybody that you can't have one of the donuts because you're on a new diet, you know?
Yeah, we know who-
Nobody cares
... we know who we're talking about here.
Oh, no. There was a-
[laughs]
There, there was a previous guy.
Yeah.
You know, that was a, that was a health nut.
It's happened a few times. It's happened a few times. Yeah, that's probably the person who was taking the quarter of a donut.
No, that wa- that was him. No, I, I made sure 'cause I was, uh, trying to hunt down who it was.
Oh. Yeah, I'm not surprised.
And he was already on his way out, so I'm like, okay, perfect. I don't need to be like-
[laughs]
... "You should just leave." [laughs]
[laughs] [upbeat jazz music]
The noon hour of Madness and Mayhem is a production of Riverbend Media Group.
For more information or to contact the show, visit riverbendmediagroup.com. [upbeat jazz music]