Ep. 100 - The Spreadsheets That Broke Viktor Wilt - 11/05/2025
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Ep. 100 - The Spreadsheets That Broke Viktor Wilt - 11/05/2025

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[trumpet music plays] The Noon Hour of Madness and Mayhem, the podcast.

Yo, yeah, it's the Noon Hour of Madness and Mayhem. What's happening, Peaches?

What- what's going on over there?

Peaches, I don't know.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

How's it going?

You gotta drop a harder beat than that.

Oh, okay. Hold on. If I gotta find a harder beat, we probably gotta go to maybe here. Where- where's my hard beats? What's going on?

I didn't mess with anything.

Yeah. No, it's, uh... I think it's the profile I'm in. But, uh, I know I've got some hard beats somewhere. Where are my hard beats? Come out.

You could've played the Doja Cat one that you had.

I know. I can't even find that. Hold on.

It was right there next to the one you just played.

That's in a different-

Go- go to the-

... profile. Go back?

Yeah, yeah.

You saw Doja Cat in there?

Go to the jang show. Jang show. Go back to jang show.

[singing]

Stop. Doja,

right there, in gray.

Doja in gr- oh. I didn't see it 'cause it's gray. [instrumental music plays] Gray hides from me. It's not a very hard beat. I was gonna go with some old, like, Snoop or something. Don't worry, I'll, I'll change the, uh, the old profile after we do this break that you said you had ready to go.

Are you a part of r/LinkedInLunatics?

Uh, no. No, I'm not.

It's my favorites. Because it-

LinkedInLunatics? Hmm.

The- there, there are a lot of people who post a lot on LinkedIn, talking about the grind, talking about, oh, "Here are my top 10 reasons why you should quit your job right now," and it goes into some absurd list, and people will support that whole thing and share it on their profiles.

There it is, LinkedInLunatics. Sorry, I had LinedInLunatics. That's a different one. All right. Which post are you taking a look at, Peaches?

I'm taking a look at this guy named Ky-Nam.

Ky-Nam.

K-Y hyphen N-A-M.

All right. I guess you're gonna have to dig in, 'cause I'm getting a different feed than you.

He posted saying, "I just finished a 30-hour flight from the US to Saigon. Most people paid for a flight. I paid for a 30-hour mobile office in the air. My friend saw me coding, why not just watch a movie and relax? I calculated the ROI of sleeping on a 30-hour flight, so I broke down the math for her. The ticket wasn't an expense, it was an asset. It bought me 30 hours of uninterrupted time." Oh, good for you.

[laughs]

Basically, this guy is just bragging that he, uh, worked for the whole 30 hours on that flight.

And he paid for the flight?

And he paid for the flight, yes.

You know, I would understand if your boss paid for the flight. I- I- I... Well, even then, just sleep, dude. Enjoy your free time a little bit. 'Cause the boss probably isn't giving you an hourly wage for that. Why be productive? Read a book, dude.

He says, "I told her rest is a legacy feature that I had deprecated. Work is rest."

Oh, p- p- these overachievers.

"Because founders are just built different. Connect with me for more useful business advice."

See, you're reminding me why I'll... or why I don't ever get on LinkedIn, [laughs] because it's this kinda crap. Ugh. It's gotta be one, one of the dullest social media platforms.

It's f-

LinkedIn

... for narcissistic people. 100%. Just for them to brag about, "Hey, I started a new position at..." and then it just gives you a- a horrible job title. Like, it gives you the most advanced-looking job title, and then you find out what they actually do, and you go, "That's a whole lot worse than what you said on LinkedIn."

Should I get on there and talk about how much I love spreadsheets?

Sure.

Tell them how much I just love making spreadsheet after spreadsheet, and then make another new one? "Hey, let's t- let's take a look at this spreadsheet. Somehow, things are getting screwed up. Let me make another spreadsheet."

That, that, that's, that's one thing that people don't tell you when, uh, going to school for radio. There's gonna be a lot of spreadsheets.

So many spreadsheets, you know?

A lot of numbers, a lot of math.

Yeah. You wanna apply for radio, make sure you are somewhat proficient in Microsoft Excel.

But wait, Victor, you're telling me we do more than just sit here and talk between the songs, like what most people think we do?

Yeah. I sit at my computer and make spreadsheets, then I wait a couple weeks, and then I make another version of the spreadsheet, and then I, you know, take a look at it later on, go, "Hey, wait a minute. I just did all this work. Now, I gotta make another spreadsheet about the same stuff that was on the other spreadsheet." Sick of spreadsheets. I'm, uh, I'm taking a break from spreadsheet. If I have to make one more spreadsheet on one particular topic,

I don't know, I'll- I'll just throw a fit about it.

This, this music's very loud.

Oh, sorry, Peaches. Sorry. Maybe that's why I was getting all worked up. Too much loud Goonies in my head [laughs].

It's a great movie.

Need to go treasure hunting [laughs].

I don't think, uh, Aubrey's seen that movie either. We might need to watch that one next after-

Dude.

... Back to the Future Part III, uh, tonight.

I, and I think The Goonies is on, uh, Netflix right now.

Oh, she canceled her Netflix. I don't have Netflix.

Oh. I saw it pop up on some kinda streaming service, uh, the other day, but, uh-

It's called PirateMovies.com.

No, it wasn't that.

Hey-o.

It wasn't that.

Get it? Pirates?

Oh, pirates.

[laughs]

Goonies. Yeah, I'm dumb. I'm dumb.

"Hey, you guys."

[instrumental music plays] You know, we were talking about The Goonies just a second ago, Peaches, and I mentioned I saw it on some kind of a streaming service. I felt really bad... Here, we'll use The Goonies music again. You know the kid who plays Chunk?

Yeah.

All right. The image they had for the- for The Goonies, there's a million images you could use. The movie poster, which is iconic. I don't know, a skull with the, the key in it. The image they had was the closeup of Chunk lifting up his shirt, doing the truffle shuffle. And it... All it was was him.

Do you think-

Like, they zoomed in, and so it's this... You know, he's a grown man now. Do they-

You think he regrets doing that?

Probably. Let's Google it up. Does Chunk... Hopefully, the, Google will know what I'm talking about. "Does Chunk regret the truffle shuffle?" [laughs]

Or his role in The Goonies as an entirety?

Let's see here.

'Cause I, I think about it, and I really think these reunion shows, like Malcolm in the Middle, the guy who plays Dewey is not in the show. They're, they have some replacement guy to play Dewey.[trumpet music] And I'm like, you can't have the reunion if you're gonna have some guy who somewhat looks like Dewey, play Dewey.

No, it's gotta be the same kid.

But the guy is like, "Oh, I don't act anymore. I don't..." Quit being a stick in the mud.

[laughs]

Just go, go do it.

Get the paycheck, dude.

Right.

Take the paych- that'd be like, yeah, if you did it and i- they didn't have Bryan Cranston as Hal or something.

Right. Well, luckily, they have him. Luckily, they have everybody else. Uh, with iCarly, when they redid it as an adult show, they didn't have Jennette McCurdy 'cause she's like, "Yeah, I'm against child acting. I'm too traumatized by it." And o- and I'm like, "Okay, I feel sorry for you. But at the same time, like, if you wanna, if you're gonna do the show, have her in it or don't do it at all."

Yeah, exactly. Well, anyway, back to Chunk. I, I did find something on Reddit that said that, uh, directing the famous Truffle Shuffle scene was so uncomfortable that The Goonies director, Richard Donner, bought the actor who plays Chunk a gym membership and took personal interest in his fitness, and he went on to be the capitol- or the captain of his high school football and wrestling teams. So, I don't know if he regretted the scene. I mean, it's one of the most famous scenes in [laughs] movies. It's gotta be kinda awkward where that's like-

Did he-

... what you're known for is being Chunk.

You know how much his teammates and also the rival teams would say to him-

Do the Truffle Shuffle.

Oh, yeah, and then if you get tackled by Chunk, you're like, "Oh, you just got Truffle Shuffled?" Like, something like that.

Oh, yeah. Like, I'm sure he still has people ask him to this day, even though I think I've seen pictures of him and he's in very great shape. I'm sure people still ask him to do the Truffle Shuffle.

It would suck to play the, uh, stupid character in any show. Who's that guy that plays, uh, Kevin from The Office? Is it Kevin from The Office? Is it Brian-

Oh, I'm-

... Burke Highs or something?

You know, I'm ... Isn't that the singer of I Prevail?

I thought it was the ... Um.

[laughs]

I thought it was the former lead singer of I Prevail. It's Brian Baumgartner or something like that.

Yeah, I, I haven't watched much of The Office, so I'm not sure.

I haven't watched much of it, much of it either, but I always see that, that "few word, do good" phrase pop up from time to time.

Yeah, ok- poor Chunk. Dude, I just, I just Googled, you know, "Does Chunk regret the Truffle Shuffle?" And it's a million pictures of this poor kid lifting [laughs] up his shirt.

But who would, who would have the most regrettable, uh, role as a kid? 'Cause I feel like, uh, Taylor Momsen, she's big time like, "Don't mention childhood acting to me. Don't mention my-"

But-

"... previous characters."

... she seems to have, uh, come around to it 'cause she put out that Christmas song-

Right

... where she duets with the child version of herself.

Oh, good. Good, good, good.

Uh, so I think she's all cool with it now. Regrettable child roles. Trying to think here. Has there ... Oh, I bet, um, the kid who played, um, what's his face in Game of Thrones, Joffrey. 'Cause people were so ... People are weird. They will-

He was so good at it.

He was great. He was, uh, so hateable. But the problem is that some people are so psychotic that they take out their frustrations with the character on the actor in real life. So, I guess people were really mean to him. They'd say hateful things. And I, I think he's another guy that he, like, just quit acting because he, he got bullied so much. Let me see. Is the guy who played Joffrey still acting? Let's see here. I, I thought I read something about that. Oh, he has returned after taking a break for many years. He stepped away after Game of [laughs] Thrones. Uh, but yeah, he, he, he's back. He's back. So, yeah, people are just weird, man. You know, I, I guess people bully us for stuff we say on air when we're just being stupid, you know? So, you know-

Peaches is a leftist 'cause he uses Reddit.

Peaches is a leftist 'cause he uses R- everyone who uses Res- Reddit is a leftist. It's, you can go to R/conservative and see the proof [laughs] that everyone on Reddit is a clearly just far left.

I still have that screenshot on my phone, I think.

Ph- uh, yeah, it's, it's a good one to save-

[laughs]

... 'cause it's silly. It's silly. Reddit's a great social media platform.

M- my friend, my friend Rob, he, when he got his first, uh, hate mail, hate email-

Now? [laughs]

Yeah, printed it out and put it on his wall. He's like, "It's my first one, look."

[laughs]

Some lady's complaining about it 'cause he's, he's a news anchor in Spokane. And somebody said, somebody said, "I don't like that Rob guy," or something like that. [laughs]

[laughs] Yeah, a note to anybody who gets into any kind of media: there [laughs] are gonna be people who don't like you. And I ... Can you imagine if you just couldn't take it? Couldn't take any criticism?

Oh, there was that one guy that was like, "I don't like Peaches. I change the channel every time." Then I asked him why he hates me and he just goes, "Uh, because you said about h- how you have to add a whole bunch of stuff to coffee to make it taste good."

Yeah. [laughs]

I'm like, "That's the thing you got mad at me for?"

That's it. [laughs] I'm not listening after you said that. Oh, how dare you, Peaches?

He must run like a local coffee business or something. [laughs]

[laughs] And look how popular coffee with a bunch of crap in it is. Yeah. What are most people buying at Starbucks? They're not just getting a black coffee.

If you order a black coffee at Starbucks, you get looked at funny.

Yeah. You're like, "Why are you ... You can get this at the gas station."

Right. [laughs]

Pay for the sugar and cream and-

You might as well just drink tar.

[laughs] Okay, Peaches, I forgot on the last break 'cause we were still talking Goonies and stuff, but I did find some of my, my hard beats. Yeah.

Yeah.

That's right. That's right. So, uh, I had something in mind I was gonna talk about, and for some reason, it seems like it was about Christmas, but I don't remember what [laughs] it was and why. Probably because, you know, we've been dealing with that Christmas music on Classy '97.

More than two dozen stations across the country have already flipped to Christmas music.

Already?

Yes. Radioinsight.com posted about it yesterday.

Wow. It's, it's a little bit early everybody, okay? Like, you could choose to get your Christmas shopping outta the way right now if you want, I get that, getting ahead of the game, but can you imagine being one of the [laughs], one of the poor DJs on those stations [laughs] and having to do two months? Two full months of Christmas music?[laughs] There's only so many Christmas songs that are good. That's why Christmas stations don't go year round, 'cause people would go insane. Like, KBAR we have, I don't know, actually, I can tell you exactly how many songs played on KBAR last week. On a Christmas station, at, at most, I bet you get like 300 in a week, probably something like that.

I- I don't know.

If that. We'll say if that, maybe 300, but that's, that might be pushing it, because there are only so many that are worth listening to. All right, I'm almost there where I can pull up the exact number of songs we played on KBAR last week.

I know there was a, a year, might've been like four years ago, when Josh first started on Classy-

Mm-hmm.

And you guys started Christmas music on November 1st, had it end January-

On November 1st?

Yeah, you had it start on November 1st, had it end on January 1st. And so by the time the Christmas week sort of came about, Josh and the co-host at the time were just insane. Like, they were s- so over it. It wa- it wasn't worth it to play it that early.

Yeah, I-

It was the, it was the year after COVID. I think it was 2021.

Okay. And I, I don't remember that, and probably because I didn't have to suffer through it. You know, I helped set it up, and then I'm like, "All right, I'm out." Um, but I will tell everybody this, that's usually a management decision, not a me and Josh decision on how, how many or how long the Christmas music's gonna last.

Well, there was a whole East Idaho News article talking about how like, uh, like it was starting early because we went through a painful time with 2020.

Oh, that's right.

People wanted that extra Christmas cheer.

That's right. And they didn't want that extra Christmas cheer. Okay, last week on KBAR, we played 963 different songs that were able to be scanned.

But we talk all the time, Victor, there's no songs that play here on KBAR.

And that, that, that's not we played 963 songs and that includes, you know, Bad Omens 30 times. That's 963 different songs in the last week.

But we only play Sleep Token and Bad Omens and Linkin Park all the time.

Who are, what, what was one of the stations that flipped to, uh, Christmas music recently?

Oh, uh, the one in Salt Lake City.

Oh, what-

The Wave?

The Wave. Hold on, let me dig it up here, 'cause I'm, I'm just curious to see how many Christmas songs they played, uh, in the last week, 'cause they've been doing it for more than a week, right? Has it been more than a week?

Yeah, they started October 8th.

Okay.

Wave 103.1 is no more as-

October 8th?

Yeah.

Okay.

No more as Utah station, switches to Christmas music in October.

Holy cow. 103.1 The Wave.

Yeah, they're a classic alternative station, but they flipped to all holiday music in October.

All right. KLO, let's see if they're, uh, monitored on MediaBase here. I'm, I'm just genuinely curious. Salt Lake City. Where is Salt Lake? Why ain't it on this list? Oh, 'cause I'm looking under active rock stations [laughs]. Whoops.

[laughs] Somebody posted an R/SaltLakeCity, "What happened to 103.1 The Wave?"

[laughs]

Wow, their... I forgot how ChatGPT, how AI generated their logo looked. Utahs Christmas 103. It's backwards. Remember, Christmas 103 Utahs?

Oh yeah, yeah.

I'll be down in Salt Lake City this weekend. You think I'll be listening to that?

Of course, Peaches, of course. Oh, and it was a classic alternative station. They flipped their alternative station

to Christmas? That's strange. Uh, th-

Somebody said, "They fired everyone. It's on shuffle now." [laughs]

All right, well gi- give me another one from, um,

Radio Insight.

Oh, okay. I gotta pull the whole article up again. I didn't realize you would-

Yeah, 'cause KLO, it doesn't seem like, uh, I can pull up their playlist. They must be real low tier. Real low tier.

102.3 The Rose Soft AC, it's WXMA.

Okay, Soft AC. Let's go to... We'll just, we'll assume that's mainstream AC. And it's in what city?

Uh, Louisville, Kentucky.

Louisville, Kentucky. Oh, and what, okay, what were the call letters again? W-

WXMA.

WXMA. There they are. Louisville, Kentucky. Uh, they're still playing a few currents. Did they just barely switch?

Yeah. "Louisville, Kentucky has become the first market to gain two stations with Christmas music as both Connoisseur Media Soft AC and Summit Media AC Mix 106.9 WVEZ both made the move on Saturday."

Okay, I'm gonna take out the currents. We're gonna go gold only, 'cause most Christmas songs are old. Okay, these all look like Christmas songs, I think. All right, how many are they playing? How many we got? They... All right, they're not doing too bad. They've got a pretty extensive Christmas library. Um,

wow. Pre- pretty good. They're at, uh, 600 songs.

Good.

That's not, that's not too bad. Unless there's some other... Nah, there's some other songs sprinkled in there, 'cause there's Black Eyed Peas, I Gotta Feeling, James Blunt, You're Beautiful.

[laughs]

All right, I don't know how many Christmas songs they're really playing. They must, uh, not have had a full week of Christmas music yet.

Well, it started on Saturday. It's Wednesday.

Let's see, mayb-

Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Four days.

Yeah. Hmm. I wonder if there's another way I could pull up... Maybe there's just holiday. Do we have holiday? No, it's not popping up yet. No holiday. Dang it! We'll have to take a look later on. But anyway, I just wanna point out that, uh, most Christmas songs are terrible, and, uh, Classy has the best of 'em.... and K-BEAR plays more rock music than the average station. We probably have more songs than, than anybody. I don't know, name a station that you think might have a lot of songs, active rocker.

Active rock, probably K-LO.

K-LO.

That, that's the only one that c- can compete with us.

W- w- yeah. Let's see what, uh, K-LO's got goin' on. We'll go back to active rock here, and shout out to K-LO, one of the, the few best radio stations-

I almost commented on one of their posts-

... in the world

... uh, earlier today, because they posted about how they're, uh, promoting the Fit for a King tour, making their way to the area.

Uh-huh.

And I was like, "Well, you guys are one of the rare times where a radio station can post something like this and say you actually play one of these artists."

[laughs]

Because I've been crapping on Bad o- not Bad Omens. I've been crapping [laughs] on K-Rock for posting about Bad Omens, Beartooth, and President on their pages, and I'm like, "You guys play soft radio edits of their, uh, some of their old tracks," like the Death of Peace of Mind with no breakdown.

Yeah.

Uh, stop it. You know, the B- K-Rock sucks.

Oh, they're, they're garbage.

They announced their Almost Acoustic Christmas. They always do this every single year, where it's an acoustic set from these different bands. And well, uh, let's see here. K-Rock.

By the way, K-LO ha- in the last week played 739 different songs, so-

The All American-

... we got 'em by about 200.

The All American Rejects is their headliner for the Almost Acoustic Christmas.

Mm-hmm.

Evanescence, Papa Roach, The Paradox, Rise Against, So- Social Distortion, Third Eye Blind, Wet Leg, and Yellowcard.

Okay. Uh, pretty exciting. Yeah, yeah.

The top comment with eight likes, "I would be very surprised if this show sells out."

[laughs] [instrumental music plays] Peaches, I'm getting mocked by my girlfriend on Snapchat. How dare she? How dare she do this to me?

You know what? If she wanted the job done, she should do it herself.

[laughs] That's right.

Equal, [laughs] an equal opportunity employer.

Yeah, I went out and, uh, cleaned up the Halloween decorations 'cause I still had 'em runnin' on Monday. Like, I just left 'em on, so all the lights were goin', [laughs] everything. There was dead bodies hanging up in the works, so I was like, "All right, I guess I'm-"

Oh, the dead bodies were real people?

Uh, well, you know, I took inspiration from ... Did you ever hear about this fun house back in the day where, uh, it was always a rumor that there was a real dead body in it? And apparently, for like 60 years, a variety of traveling carnivals passed around what they thought was [laughs] just a really good prop-

[laughs]

... and it was an actual dead body, and they-

I think I saw this story a couple years back.

Yeah, they'd like paint it, put, you know, scary decorations on it. And then one day, somebody was trying to move it and the arm fell off and there was a b- like bone stickin' out, and they're like, "Whoa."

Well, yeah, 'cause if, if something's been dead for quite some time, wouldn't it just not petrify? What's the word? What's the right word? It was-

Mummified.

It was mummified, it had stiffened up.

Well, and I guess what had happened was-

Like they would s- it would almost be like you're ripping off a celery. [laughs]

Y- yeah, I guess what had happened is the guy was like a, I don't know if he was a bank robber, but he was some kind of a criminal, and he got in a shootout with the police and died, and nobody claimed the body, so the mortician somehow embalmed him with something that like, basically mummified him. And then he sold the body to a, what, like, you know, one of the traveling freak shows?

I bet it was a great prank back in the day.

[laughs]

Imagine that. You, you em- you like, you, [laughs] you have this dead body like, "You know what? Let me just, let me give it to the circus, see how long it takes them to realize."

[laughs] About 60 years apparently-

60 years. [laughs]

... until the arm broke off. So,

yeah. Anyway, you never know with some of those props you're seeing at the fun house. But yeah, I thought ... I went out to clean up the Halloween decorations, and it was getting dark, but I, I managed to get everything taken down, the inflatable Jack Skellington and blah, blah, blah. And I thought I got everything. So, I get this Snapchat from Becca and she's just laughing 'cause I have this gigantic spider on one of those little trees in front of my house. I mean, I back up every day and pull in my driveway. I've driven past it multiple days and didn't notice. It's huge. It's impossible to miss. I am that oblivious sometimes that ... Yeah, she was just laughing at me. Like, "Yeah, you, you, you got 'em all, buddy. You got 'em all."

And I'm trying to figure out when I should put up the Christmas tree and all of that and [sighs] have to take that down probably like right after Christmas.

Yeah, see, I'm thinking about putting up my Christmas tree to- Well, we're gonna put up two of 'em this year.

Oh.

'Cause, uh, you saw my silly Christmas tree last year with the crazy lights?

Yeah, yeah.

And Becca has a really nice big, traditional looking Christmas tree that I think would look nice in the living room. So, I think I'm gonna put my psychotic Christmas tree with the insane lights, with nothing but the lights on it, in, in the dining room, just to make my dining room pure chaos, kinda like the living room is. So, yeah, I got a lotta crap to move around though. I gotta move that wall of sound, I know I mentioned it to you. That's where the Christmas tree needs to go.

Do you need help?

If you're that bored that you wanna come move speakers, feel free.

Well, I'm not really doing much, so just let me know. [laughs]

Okay. All right. Well, um, I'll pro-

Well, this weekend I'll be preparing for the Salt Lake City trip, that's about it.

Yeah. Well, if you're bored tonight-

Okay

... I'll be sitting around doin' chores. Just, uh, you, you should take a Zyrtec before you come over.

Yeah, I might.

'Cause I have four cats and a dog now.

[laughs]

So, you know what it was like with just two.

Oh, it was awful with that whole like, uh, birthday party thing you did when I just kept sneezing. I was trying to play pool against your sister and I lost-

Yeah

... because I was like, "Achoo, achoo." [laughs]

It, it, it's much worse now, and, uh, uh, I won't vacuum before you come over-

Oh. [laughs]

... so hopefully it all stays down. I've been running an air purifier on the main floor, but I, I'll give you a Zyrtec. I think I have one in my pocket.

I'll just show up wearing a hazmat suit.

[laughs] You might need to 'cause I can't imagine if you're allergic to cats what it would do to somebody now.

Becca thinks you're getting robbed and we're in a sheisty.

[laughs]

[laughs] [instrumental music plays] The Noon Hour of Madness and Mayhem is a production of Riverbend Media Group. For more information or to contact the show, visit riverbendmediagroup.com.